tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482087969985747940.post5594307743953138190..comments2023-07-05T21:01:31.915-07:00Comments on The Snarky Writer: Texts from DadLindsay Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00249931435021464536noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482087969985747940.post-33097305148158862092018-03-11T15:56:54.464-07:002018-03-11T15:56:54.464-07:00Hi Rachel,
Congratulations on your surgery! Hope ...Hi Rachel,<br /><br />Congratulations on your surgery! Hope you found that part of my blog helpful.<br /><br />I'm sure you've had a lovely relationship with your parents. But I'd like to ask you to imagine this exchange wasn't between me and my dad. What if it was between me and someone I wasn't related to? An old boyfriend, a former boss, a friend who fell out of touch? If someone else had said these things, ignored me for so long, and blamed me for the relationship ending, would you still think I should reconcile? <br /><br />I also have to disagree that he's back to normal and genuinely wants to reconcile. In the texts he said his brother (my uncle) started saying things about the whole situation and my dad is more concerned with his reputation. If he did care, really care, he would have been up front and honest from the beginning - whatever transgression I had (which, really, being late to wish him a happy father's day earned me years of being ignored?). <br /><br />To be brutally honest, and I realize this very likely won't be your experience since you're grieving your (probably decent) parents, when he dies it will be much easier than it is now. For years, my extended family wouldn't talk to me unless it was to ask why I wouldn't "be the better person" and reconcile. I lost contact with multiple people, not just my dad, over this. So, when he dies, that should stop. <br /><br />Again, if this weren't my father I doubt you'd be encouraging me to reconcile. You might even feel proud that I was able to stand my ground and appreciate my own self worth. But it's not so simple, because he's my dad. I just don't agree that family ties are worth being made to feel this way. <br /><br />I'm sorry for the loss of your parents. I know that parents are usually the most important people in the world, and losing them can signal a massive life change. But not everyone feels that way.Lindsay Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00249931435021464536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482087969985747940.post-66119184200064913362018-03-11T15:48:09.303-07:002018-03-11T15:48:09.303-07:00Hey Desrae, thanks for your comment (last year hah...Hey Desrae, thanks for your comment (last year haha). Things are as we left them, which I don't regret one bit. Hope all's well with you!Lindsay Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00249931435021464536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482087969985747940.post-39306232200075168322018-03-03T18:24:40.904-08:002018-03-03T18:24:40.904-08:00Hey...I stumbled upon your blog because last week ...Hey...I stumbled upon your blog because last week I had a laparoscopic bilaterally salpingectomy or "got fixed" as you say. Haha.<br />I just read this post about your broken relationship with your Dad...and as a 32 year old girl who lost both parents to cancer five years ago, I just want to encourage you to reconsider. If he was a good Dad... And you once had a good relationship, chalk up the dumb things he said or did as a symptom of a new relationship/infatuation with "Butterface". He's not Superman.<br />Love, or what we think is love, can be addictive and make us do or say anything to keep from loosing it. Which is probably why he said things he doesn't remember when his concerned daughter questioned his satisfying relationship.<br />But now (or when he wrote trying to reconcile) he's back to normal. <br />If you EVER enjoyed his friendship... It will only be better now that you're older.<br />You won't always have the chance to call him.Rachel Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05525344284493681060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482087969985747940.post-35052236474260426222017-06-18T15:37:00.294-07:002017-06-18T15:37:00.294-07:00Good for you! Whether you have reconciled with you...Good for you! Whether you have reconciled with your father art this point in time or not, I hope that you are happy in life. It takes a strong person to be able to speak their piece, stand their ground and hold on to their beliefs and values and to refuse to bow to the pressures of other people! Good luck to you!Desrae1https://www.blogger.com/profile/17444717899836992602noreply@blogger.com