July 22, 2009

If Monk Had Eczema

I would feel very bad for poor Monk.

I have a mild case of obsessive compulsive disorder when it comes to cleanliness. I wash my hands extremely frequently and shower every day, sometimes twice. Unfortunately, I also have a mild case of eczema, and eczema doesn't like cleanliness. I shower every day and I'm told to shower and use soap as infrequently as I can stand (which is sometimes twice a day, since I work in 90-100 degree heat). I'm learning to pat dry or air dry and to put lots of lotion on immediately following my showers. I've also taken to cold showers, which feel pretty good after a day in Escondido.

I would also feel very bad for poor Monk if he was a she.

Women have to be extra careful with their hygiene, especially during their most womanly days. Periods are not very hygienic, and period products would make Monk mad. For a whole week out of the month, Monk would curse his body: Monk would not have the luxury of standing up at a urinal, but would have to sit on a toilet seat that thousands of strangers have sat on before him, some even going so far as to not use the paper seat protectors (baffles my mind why someone would not use one). He would also have to deal with using period products in the confining space of a public restroom stall while trying to remain on the paper seat protector and not getting messy. There are way more doors and handles and locks to maneuver in a woman's restroom.

I would feel most bad for poor Monk if he was a she and had eczema.

If Monk was a woman with eczema the show would be either hilarious or completely frustrating. If Monk had to deal with not only the trials of womanhood but also a skin disorder he would go berserk. Especially if both showed their ugly heads at the same time.

In other news, I'm glad I have mild cases of eczema, OCD and womanhood.

No comments:

Post a Comment