April 22, 2010


This just in: boobs cause earthquakes.

Yes, boobs.

The only antidote: take refuge in religion.

I'm not sure which one of those statements makes less sense. Some hot shot Iranian prayer leader made the logical leap from immodesty to earthquakes. Think I'm kidding? Here's the dude's actual quote:
Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes. -Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi
(I was curious to know what was omitted with the ellipses; I think it's "and behave promiscuously".) Sedighi says in order to reduce the number of earthquakes, we must adapt our lives to Islam's moral codes. This, surely, is the only way. Doesn't this remind you of when tribes thought the rumbling of a volcano meant they had angered the gods and only the sacrifice of a young virgin into the volcanic opening could appease them and save the rest? What happened when they sacrificed a virgin and the volcano still spewed fire all over them? Maybe that's the New World version of Sodom and Gomorrah: they were so bad that nothing could be done to save them.

Luckily for us, there's an antidote to the madness: show as much boobage as possible on April 26th. The theory is that if this religious leader was told by God that boobs (or immodesty in general) cause earthquakes, then we should be able to cause a massive earthquake if we all pitch in and dress like the skanks we are (American women: if this isn't your call to arms, what is?). If there is an earthquake, then it's official: boobs cause earthquakes. If not, maybe that dude isn't getting his information from a good enough source. I'll be sure to show my, um, support on April 26th (and if I get called in to work I will be as immodest as possible in my tucked in khaki).

Come on, women, show your boobies! Join the Facebook group here.



    Not one day in anyone’s life is an uneventful day, no day without profound meaning, no matter how dull and boring it might seem, no matter whether you are a seamstress or a queen, a shoeshine boy or a movie star, a renowned philosopher or a Down’s syndrome child.

    Because in every day of your life, there are opportunities to perform little kindnesses for others, both by conscious acts of will and unconscious example.

    Each smallest act of kindness – even just words of hope when they are needed, the remembrance of a birthday, a compliment that engenders a smile – reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it’s passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away.

    Likewise, each small meanness, each thoughtless expression of hatred, each envious and bitter act, regardless of how petty, can inspire others, and is therefore the seed that ultimately produces evil fruit, poisoning people whom you have never met and never will.

    All human lives are so profoundly and intricately entwined – those dead, those living, those generations yet to come – that the fate of all is the fate of each, and the hope of humanity rests in every heart and in every pair of hands.

    Therefore, after every failure, we are obliged to strive again for success, and when faced with the end of one thing, we must build something new and better in the ashes, just as from pain and grief, we must weave hope, for each of us is a thread critical to the strength – the very survival – of the human tapestry.

    Every hour in every life contains such often-unrecognized potential to affect the world that the great days for which we, in our dissatisfaction, so often yearn are already with us; all great days and thrilling possibilities are combined always in THIS MOMENTOUS DAY! – Rev. H.R. White

    Excerpt from Dean Koontz’s book, “From the Corner of His Eye”.

    It embodies the idea of how the smallest of acts can have such a profound effect on each of our lives.

  2. So, no major earthquake anywhere... Boobs don't cause earthquakes.