We did the thing!

Smooching in Balboa Park

We did the thing! After knowing each other for almost 10 years, including 8+ years of dating, 6+ years of living together, and 382 days of being engaged, we finally got married. And it was perfect.

Really perfect. Every element was exactly what we wanted and we had so much fun. Well before we got engaged we talked about what type of wedding we wanted and decided our priorities were great food, amazing music, and plentiful drinks, and our wedding delivered handsomely on all three.

Just the two of us.

We got married on a Friday: January 17, 2020. Husband* had always wanted to have a surprise wedding: throw an engagement party and surprise! get married right then and there. I was on board with the idea but was more than a little shocked when he actually proposed... so I needed extra time, and by then it was too late to plan a surprise wedding that would have surprising. On top of that, we spent a lot of our engagement worrying about more important things.

So semi-traditional it was. I had always talked about a fall wedding, but my sister's pregnancy meant push it or risk her not being there. So we pushed it. January 17 ended up being perfect: the following Monday was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, our anniversary would usually fall on a 3-day weekend, and 2020 makes it easier to calculate how long we've been married. Not surprising, October ended up being really hot, which would have been a pain. I'd rather worry about the cold than the heat in San Diego.

Smooching!

So here's what we did!

The day before

Time for the two of us
We both took off Thursday to have some time to ourselves before the craziness of the weekend started. Husband got his hair cut and shaped while I took a yoga class, then we went to breakfast together where we exchanged our gifts. We agreed a few months before to gift each other Garmin watches. I also got husband custom socks with the pup's face on them (that matched his tie) and made him a photo book filled with photos I'd taken of him taking photos (it sounds lame but he liked it). Husband also printed photos from the last few years and added them to an album he started when we first got together.

Custom socks as part of husband's wedding gift

By the time we were done with breakfast, two of my best friends had landed and my sister arrived at our apartment. The next several hours were appointments and errands. Husband had a bit of editing to finish, while us ladies went to our nail appointment, picked up my dress from the tailor, and stopped at the bank, Starbucks, and photo lab. Back home, I showed a couple of them how to bustle the dress, and we left it bustled for photos the next day.

My bridesmaids carrying flowers from the farmers market.

After that it was time to head to the farmer's market, conveniently a few blocks away from home, to pick up the flowers. We had about an hour to make our bouquets, which was a lot easier than I thought and they turned out so beautiful! Meanwhile, husband picked up a large bucket and a card table and chairs from friends. He also made the boutonnieres for himself and his dad.

My bridal bouquet! I foraged the eucalyptus.

Rehearsal and dinner
At 4pm we packed up a couple of cars and went to our rehearsal and dinner. We didn't want to pay to reserve the outside area at Stone with the massive tree, so our space was just beyond that in the open promenade. It ended up being a better perspective for photos, plus it was free and we didn't need a permit. Husband directed the rehearsal — he has a booming voice, loads of experience directing, and more of a vision for how things should go. Fortunately, the rest of us are good at following directions and we ran through it twice to get it down.

This amazing tree was the highlight of our ceremony space.

On our way to dinner we dropped off the table flowers, signs, guest book, and succulent jars at Stone, leaving it up to the captain to place them. Our flower vases for the tables were Stone beer bottles that we collected for years, and table signs were photos from our travels that husband photoshopped to look like postcards.

Woot Stout bottle flower vases and photos from our vacations.

Dinner (co-hosted by husband's parents and my mom) was around the corner at the best Italian restaurant, Buona Forchetta. Husband's dad made a small toast but otherwise there were no formalities at the dinner. Just good food, lots of wine, and our most favorite people all getting to know each other. This was the first time our parents met. My mom had shared interests with both of my in-laws: wine and goofing around with my father in law and religion with my mother in law. My mom also very sweetly gave them both little gifts.

At a local tap house after the rehearsal dinner.

After dinner, we took my sister and my two out of town friends to a neighborhood tap house for a beer since it was still early. All day I wore this mostly-white, lace, knee-length dress that I had had for years but never get to wear (since I mostly wear dresses for weddings), paired with a jean jacket and sandals (because I didn't want boots to mess up my pedicure). I was way overdressed for a local bar and absolutely freezing but dammit I was wearing that dress, I didn't care how cold it was.

Wedding day

Getting ready
We woke up around 7am to rain. Not your usual San Diego sprinkles, real rain. I was stoked. The weather report had been saying there would be a chance of rain for a week and we had no ceremony backup plan, but I love the rain and was sort of honored there was rain on my wedding day. It would make the one thing I was adamant about doing that morning more fun: going for a run alone. If I could plan my perfect day — which is essentially what I'd been doing — it would include a morning run. I did my usual loop to a community park (testing out my new Garmin), took a last single selfie (which I got to post with a certain Alanis Morissette song), and by the time I was home the rain had mostly subsided. I couldn't have planned it better if I tried.

It's like raaaaaaain on your wedding day!

Husband went to breakfast with the guys while I showered and got things ready for the hair stylists. I managed to scarf some banana bread that our officiant had baked and dropped by the day before and my sister very generously went on a coffee run for a few of us (both total lifesavers). The stylists arrived around 9:30am, as did my other sister with my niece and my local bridesmaid. My sister asked me to put on a cartoon for my niece. Husband had been watching King of the Hill so I put that on, rationalizing that she wouldn't understand it. But it was bothering me. Then I remembered we had Avatar: The Last Airbender on DVD, so put that in instead and eased my guilt.

Husband went to breakfast with the guys.

Another friend very kindly agreed to help me with my makeup, and ended up basically doing it for me. She's one of the most put together people I know and I was so happy she was willing to help me. I didn't want a professional makeup artist because I'd done that for other weddings and hated how I looked. I barely wear makeup normally and didn't want to look or feel like someone else on my wedding day. My friend did an incredible job and I felt so beautiful the whole day. I didn't even need a touch up!

My hair: half up with a braid and flowers and curls.

After that it was a whirlwind of people coming and going. Husband had a ton of errands to do (picking up the dessert and delivering it to Stone, checking into our hotel and dropping off our bags, deliver the boutonniere to his dad), our officiant came by for my Kindle to use for his speech, and I spent time configuring the PDF, my other two bridesmaids arrived for their hair, my mom came to pick up the leftover flowers and take them to Stone, my brother in law arrived for my niece, and I had a couple of pizzas delivered.

Cheers! Champagne to celebrate.

Despite the chaos of the morning, all five of us had our hair and makeup finished an hour ahead of schedule. We popped a bottle of champagne, polished off the pizza, and put on the ridiculous Diva Brides show on Netflix and relaxed.

And here's where I made a timing mistake. Previously, I got into my dress mostly on my own and in under a minute. But I didn't realize all those little buttons on the back weren't decorative — they were real clasps. My bridesmaids helped, but it added 15 minutes I hadn't budgeted. I also didn't have everything in my tote that I needed, so we ended up being about 20 minutes behind schedule despite the extra hour. Whoopsie.

Family portrait. More than one person said this was a bad idea. They were wrong.

But weddings are notoriously late and husband and I discussed that reality quite a bit. Our photographer arrived to take the one photo I had to have: us with our animals. It was a bit of an ordeal. She recommended the patio for photos so we had to get the cat and rabbits out there. Not a single one of them was chill about it. I held both my bunnies while husband held the cat and a photo of the pup (just because he wasn't physically with us didn't mean he wouldn't be included). It was so worth it to have our whole family in a photo together on our most important day. We gave everyone plenty of treats, spent a minute with a lint brush, and were on our way!

A locket of Argo that I carried with me on our wedding day.

Wedding Party Photos: Balboa Park
Our original plan had been to get married in a semi-private ceremony in the cactus garden in Balboa Park. Just our wedding party, parents, and a few special friends and relatives. When husband accidentally sent the ceremony invitation to people not in one of those groups, we decided to open it up to everyone and just do it all at Stone.

Having some fun with my stunning bridesmaids.

But I still wanted some Balboa Park photos — it's my favorite place in San Diego. When we arrived, our photographer recommended the butterfly garden because it was less crowded and less muddy (though I suspect the particular lighting situation also had something to do with it). It was gorgeous! She got all the wedding party group and individual shots there, including a few fun ones with the sunglasses we got everyone.

Groomsmen having a good time.

Then we sent the wedding party ahead to the ceremony site. Since we hadn't reserved the space, our wedding party needed to be the ones to secure it and let the guests know where to stand. Another friend brought a few chairs for the older family members, but otherwise it was standing only. While they did that, husband and I took a few private photos by the koi pond and botanical building (someone generously offered us their prime spot on the bridge — wedding dresses are magic).

Our wedding party looking sharp.

The photographer went to grab the car and we stayed behind to share private vows. I wrote mine in a card, but made the mistake of writing husband's name on the card. He noticed it, opened it, and read it... But I wanted to say the words anyway. He had much more written, though on his phone. We'd had a trying few years, none more difficult than the last one, and that's the whole "for worse" part about getting married. We knew we could handle anything together after losing Argo.

All we really wanted to do was have a good time.

We had one other minor setback: the photographer's assistant accidentally put in the wrong location in the GPS. We offered to provide directions but they said we should just relax. Oops oops oops.

Balboa Park koi pond — the perfect backdrop.

Wedding Ceremony: Liberty Station
Our ceremony was supposed to start at 4:30. I have no idea when it actually started, but from the setting sun and the temperature it was definitely later than that. I was shaking like a leaf half due to cold and half due to nerves. I gave my engagement ring to my sister, my maid of honor, to leave my ring finger free for the wedding band. My bridesmaids unbustled my dress and we sort of hid behind these big columns while waiting for things to get started. Our photographer caught me taking a sneak peek at our guests.

I couldn't help but peek at my guests.

I chose two songs for our DJ to play, including our procession song: an instrumental version of Death Cab for Cutie's "I Will Follow You Into The Dark". When it started playing everything was suddenly real and I was so soothed by it. To me that song is romance and love and commitment — albeit in a not very traditional way. Our parents walked down the makeshift aisle together, followed by our wedding party, and husband and I walked together, arm in arm. I tease him that he was my second choice: had Argo been with us he'd have walked me down the aisle.

We walked down the aisle together because we're in this together.

Walking together was important for both of us. This wasn't my fairy tale day and I wasn't property to be given away. Walking together set the stage for the theme of our ceremony, which was that getting married was us celebrating our decision to continue the commitment we've made for 8 years. Nothing was changing. This wasn't the start or end of anything. This was a day — a special day, but a day nonetheless — in a lifetime together. We were already living our vows (some days better than others) and wanted to continue doing so.

Feeling a lot of love from these people.

In the weeks following, a few people asked me what my favorite part of the day was. I said the dancing, but looking back I think it was our officiant. We asked one of husband's best friends to officiate and he was absolutely incredible. We met with him a couple of times leading up to our wedding to discuss why we were getting married. A lot of wedding ceremonies focus on religion and having children (and awful gender roles), and both our families had traditional expectations for us, all of which we wanted to put to rest for good. This was about us and our idea of marriage, no one else's.

Our officiant friend was the absolute best.

To illustrate this, our officiant read a quote from the TV show The Good Place: "Soul mates are not found, they're made." This quote was especially poignant because a demon delivers it. Neither of us believe in soul mates, but we do believe in the work it takes to create a lasting relationship. This quote encapsulates that belief (and, you know, he's a demon).

Holding hands as we officially become husband and wife.

There were a few other pop culture references in our ceremony: The Princess Bride, The Lord of the Rings, DC superheroes, and a vow that husband made up as a joke but loved so much we said it: "You are the Batman to my Batman." I had to explain it later to my mom: "I'm not Robin."

My very almost husband, our officiant, and my two sisters.

He also had a few perfectly placed jokes. He acknowledged the tourists watching us and the private outdoor party at Stone (which even I could see watching us out of the corner of my eye). One joke was related to a quirk of the ceremony location. Being so close to the airport, not 5 minutes goes by without a low airplane drowning out all sound. When the first plane went overhead the three of us stopped, looked up, and followed it with our gaze until it was out of sight, then picked up right where he left off as if the plane was never there.

Playing along with our officiant's joke, watching the plane above.

When the second plane came, he kept moving his mouth as if he was continuing with his speech and, as soon as the plane was gone, said "and wife!" He probably added at least 2 minutes to the ceremony time because of everyone laughing.

Husband and sisters laughing really hard — wish I knew at which joke.

But my favorite joke was one I knew was coming. In traditional vows we promise to love each other for richer or poorer. Well, husband's name is Rich. So when it was my turn I said "for Lindsayer or poorer". The laughter came in waves as people took a second to get it.

Husband trying to get my ring over my knuckle.

I learned with my engagement ring that my ring finger has a large knuckle. My wedding band fits better but it was still a bit of a struggle for husband to get it on — we did not practice. Then, at the very end, our officiant said ,"Lindsay, you may kiss the groom." And I did!

My favorite guest photo: my sister's reaction to our first kiss.

And then we literally ran back down the aisle to "Don't Stop Me Now."

Literally running back down the aisle together.

Wedding Reception: Stone Brewery
All of that took 10 minutes. But somehow it didn't feel like a blur. Maybe because I was extremely aware of how long everything was taking because I was fuckin' freezing but nothing about the day was a blur. I got to really enjoy each moment. After the ceremony, our guests went inside for appetizers and drinks while we took a few family and wedding party photos. My bridesmaids helped me bustle again — this time in a foyer that was so much warmer than outside!

My best friends bustling my dress!

We entered our reception area to our first dance song and the DJ announcing us. Sticking with our less-traditional theme, we danced to "Spread Your Love" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Not your average romantic first dance song about how we've always loved each other or are meant to be, but we saw them on our (second) first date, which started our relationship. We only danced for a minute before inviting everyone to join. Our DJ recommended pre-dinner dancing and looking back that was definitely the right call. It got everyone on the floor and moving in between the appetizers and dinner.

Twirling my new husband during our first dance. 

He gave me a heads up but I still squealed.

Dancing!

After a song or two husband and I decided it was time for our first drink. There was a small private bar with a bartender, beer we hand selected, and a bunch of wines. We both stuck to beer the whole evening: it's the best way to drink throughout the evening and not get hammered, it went better with our food, and, after all, we were at a brewery. So, you know, when in Rome.

My second favorite guest photo: our first cheers as husband and wife.

Right before dinner our DJ gave us the opportunity to speak directly to our guests. We carefully hopped onto a ledge. Husband welcomed everyone and thanked them for coming and I invited guests to take a succulent jar from the table as a favor (that some of the wedding party helped put together). Seeing an opportune moment, our photographer took a group photo with every guest and us at the front.

The custom menu for our wedding dinner: tacos!

Husband and I were the first ones through the buffet line. I'm actually not sure it was even officially open yet but we would be damned if we didn't get what we wanted, especially after missing the appetizers. I hadn't eaten since the pizza and husband probably hadn't eaten since breakfast.

Custom matchbooks: "Let's get lit!"

Our buffet was tacos, and this was pretty much the reason we picked Stone. We needed food that could be gluten free and vegan and wanted each guest to enjoy as much of it as possible. I've had too many experiences as a vegetarian wedding guest where I felt forgotten and didn't want my guests to feel that way (seriously, I went to a wedding where they only served ribs... I drank a lot). Our food was so good — our friends even said as much in the days and weeks after. We had chicken, fish, and soy chorizo and potato, paired with a baby kale salad with a spicy vinaigrette dressing (a surprising hit, you never hear people talking about the salad), rice and beans, and chips. Some of our more intelligent guests made nachos.

Husband hugging his new sister after she witnessed our wedding license.

Once groups of people were finished eating they moved back onto the dance floor. Our seating arrangement had the wedding party and family members seated at the large tables in the banquet room, which had a nice little fireplace, while everyone else (mostly friends and younger guests) had open seating at small tables in the bocce court outside, surrounding the dance floor. This kept the older folks, who (I thought) would be less likely to tear up the dance floor, in the warmer space, and let the younger folks have easy access to dancing and drinking. But some of the older folks ended up cutting loose! We formed a dance circle and one by one people would dance through it while the rest of us cheered and clapped. My uncle got way down, our friend actually got on her back on the ground, even my new mother in law let her hair down a bit.

My uncle getting way down on the dance floor!

Giving husband a hug during a dance break.

Husband and I also took this time to say hi to individual groups, especially people we don't see that often and who weren't dominating the dance floor. It's hard to spend enough time with everyone at a wedding, especially your own, and I wish I got to hang out with some people more. There were a few invitations to visit people and we intend to take them up on those offers. Someone requested a photo with all the couples that had husband as their photographer.

All the couples that husband was the wedding photographer for — at his wedding!

After an hour or so of dancing it was time for the speeches. First up was a toast given jointly by two of my bridesmaids, my best friends since middle school. They compared how I was reluctant to being their friends at first (which was true) to taking a while for me to start dating husband. Now I've been friends with them for over 20 years and husband and I are married. They toasted to me not always knowing what was good for me.

My oldest friends toasting us.

Next up was another bridesmaid, my best friend in San Diego and someone who is a huge part of my life and even our relationship. She's seen us in our ups and downs, seen how we've grown as individuals and as a couple, and seen how we support each other. She shared how when I was in grad school, husband took over meals (he called it the trifecta: doing the grocery shopping, the cooking, and the cleaning for all our meals). She also shared how I supported and encouraged him to grow his photography business (which really took off). No one else has such visibility into our relationship and I was so glad she agreed to give a speech.

Best speech from the person who knows us best.

Last was the best man, husband's best friend since college. He shared a couple funny stories of when they lived together, talked about how he was a protective friend, and that when he added my phone number to his address book he used husband's last name — which was apparently not something he did with other girlfriends. This touched me, because when husband and I first started dating his best friend was not my number one fan.

Best man mimicking husband during his speech.

When the speeches were over I group hugged my best friends, then thanked the best man. I told him that, as he may have learned from the first toast, he was the only person I'd ever had to work really hard to win over.

Hugging our best friends after their speeches.

With the speeches over the party could get started for real. Our DJ turned it up and we danced nonstop for the next two hours. There were a few songs that are traditions at weddings in our group. One is "Benny and the Jets," which we sing as "Brendan and the Jets" for a friend of ours.

Brendan and the Jets.

Another is "It's Tricky." When this song came on I was getting a beer and, while the bartender was pouring, I asked if she could save it for me because I had to go do a thing. More than one person took their shoes off and danced in socks (on the wet turf...), many a jacket and sweater were shed, ties came off, and we all worked up a pretty good sweat.

It's tricky!

At one point desserts were set out. We'd brought several dozen cookies from the bakery we go to more often than we should and part of Stone's taco package included churros (which were vegan!) and chocolate. I wasn't really feeling sweets but nabbed a churro because it's so rare that I get them. Several of our guests ate their cookies on the dance floor, very excited that they didn't have to sit down with cake. Since my mom can't eat gluten, we had brought a dessert specifically for her from yet another bakery we go to quite often, which she was really excited about.

Husband and I getting low.

Dancing with my other SO.

I wanted a wedding party because there are people in our life who are incredibly important to us as individuals and as a couple, and their presence as we said our public vows was a way of showing support for us that day and into the future. But wedding parties also serve another important function, especially bridesmaids: helping you go to the bathroom. I'd heard plenty of stories about how women need significant help to pee wearing their wedding dresses, and had no idea if I'd be able to do it alone. So I asked one of my bridesmaids to come with me just in case. My dress was loose enough that it ended up being no problem but it was also kind of nice to have an escort — walking through a restaurant to the communal bathrooms in a wedding dress was a new experience. People look.

Wedding parties do more than dance with you.

The second song I chose was our last song. Our DJ, a musical genius, played part of the opening song from Lion King as a lead up to the final song and completely shocked myself and one of our guests. We just stood there for a moment staring at each other with open mouths in wild surprise. I knew my last song was coming and turned to my husband and got real giddy. Then it started: Toto's "Africa." By that time there were fewer than 30 people left, and most of them gathered in a circle around us as we sang to it. Husband then held me close and we swayed through the end of the song.

Dancing to Toto's Africa for our last song.

And then it was over. We took a final group photo with the last people on the floor. Stone gathered our belongings so we could deal with them the next day and we invited those left to our after party. My brother in law called a car and a ton of us piled in to go to the hotel downtown.

The people who stayed on the dance floor until the end.

After party
We chose our hotel in part for its ability to host the after party. It had a full rooftop bar, didn't charge cover, was open until 2am, and was spacious enough to accommodate a group even if it was busy. This hotel was also one of the only hotels to let us see a room before we booked, solidifying our choice. We needed to drop off my tote bag so everyone came up to our room. The staff left a bottle of champagne with a note of congratulations, and we popped it and poured for everyone.

Wedding night selfie: champagne in our hotel room (not pictured: the 5 other people also in the room).

The after party was super chill. The bar vibe wasn't really for dancing, and I think most of us were too tired anyway. I switched to wine (pretty sure husband switched to liquor, since we were too busy to drink much during the reception) and chatted with my cousin, sister, and another friend. One by one people went home, and eventually the rooftop bar closed. Husband and I made our way back to our room. I remember taking off my makeup, undoing my hair, and husband drunkenly figuring out how to undo the dozens of buttons keeping me in my dress. We then fell asleep having sex. Romantic.


The next days
We woke up at our normal time the next day, despite having gone to sleep probably around 3am. We laid in bed for a while and sort of watched a few episodes of The Office while kind of also trying to sleep in. Eventually we decided it wasn't working so we showered and dressed and packed up our things.

Me with my wedding dress catching up on my phone.

Our room had a little window seat overlooking the downtown street below. Husband took a selfie of us with our new rings. After that, as nice as the room was there wasn't much reason to hang around (and I was getting desperate for coffee) so we called a Lyft and went home.

We're married!

My sister spent the night at our apartment, and once we dropped off our things and sent a few texts the three of us walked down the street to one of our breakfast spots. There was a wait, but a few people said they'd join us. Then a few more agreed to join. By the time we were seated we needed a bigger table. We were probably being very annoying to the staff — this restaurant is extremely busy and we were there at prime brunch time on a Saturday. Fortunately, we were there long enough that it was no longer prime brunch time when even more people showed up and could commandeer another table. We left a generous tip.

My best friends with us at the zoo!

We had talked about going to the zoo that day and my out of town bridesmaids were into the idea. It was a great day! Lots of animals were active and husband and I got to show off our favorite place. By the time we got there I was feeling a bit hungover so we got beers — turns out hair of the dog works!

The red panda was being extra adorable that day.

That evening, husband and I had a less relaxing dinner with his parents. Restaurants were packed for the holiday weekend. After a lot more walking than his parents liked we found a place that didn't have a long wait. Then someone needed to switch tables for... a heater? I can't remember. Husband and I were exhausted and his parents were a bit on edge. We called it a night with them early and met back up with my friends at the bar we went to after getting our certificate. But the exhaustion was really starting to set in, so even after all that we were home before 9pm.

My bridesmaids and I at a bar.

My sister had gone back home after breakfast (but not before being a literal angel and cleaning our entire kitchen for us) so we had our place to ourselves. We got in pajamas, cuddled on the couch, and put who knows what on Netflix. It was perfect.

The only place we wanted to be: on the couch with Chloe.

The next morning we went to breakfast with my mom. It was kind of like pulling teeth, though — she was only still in town because other relatives were, but I was like... can we see you? We went to the same place we had the day before because it's down the street and she loves it — and has an extensive gluten-free menu. The waitstaff definitely recognized us... oops again.

We ended up having a lovely breakfast. She asked how being married felt, which everyone had been doing, and we gave the same answer we gave them: if this weekend is what being married is like it's awesome! I can't remember what led to this, but she told us why she got married. She said that divorce had just become common enough among her parents generation that a lot of people in her generation — her included — saw it as an out should a marriage not work out. Which it is. But I guess a lot of them didn't fully evaluate the person they chose to marry, since they could always get divorced. She didn't say this, but I assume the pressure to marry young was a stronger influence then. So you married the person you were with in your early twenties, had a few kids, and if it didn't work out you got divorced. She said she thinks our generation has learned from that and that we're making better decisions about who we marry. I hope so.

We had this bouquet times ten around our apartment.

My mom also dropped off the leftover cookies, all our flowers, the signs and cards from the welcome table, and everything else we'd left at Stone. Apparently the captain had gushed about our party. He said the staff had a good time (and I hope were sent home with our leftover food), that our guests were fun (truth) and generous (more truth), and it was a pleasure to have us. Husband has worked enough weddings and events to know that they definitely do not say that about everyone. It made us both really happy to hear. Plus, we had a whole box of leftover cookies and our small apartment looked and smelled like a florist with all the flowers.

"I really want to watch one of the games today." Promptly falls asleep with the cat.

The rest of the day was pretty lazy. Most of our out of town friends had gone, so husband and I went right back to the couch where we fell back asleep. Our only intermission was his parents coming by to drop some things off before their flight home. We got takeout from our favorite Thai place (and chatted with the owner, showed off husband's new ring), returned to the couch, and life went back to normal.

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So yes, it was amazing. For the next couple of weeks I said I wanted to do it again probably every other day. Husband said we can do this every 5 years. Honestly, in normal times, I think if we scale it back we probably can — we wouldn't need as many expenses (clothes, flowers, gifts, photographer). I so want to.

All dressed up in a gorgeous garden and we can't contain ourselves.

But since COVID-19 hit us a month later things changed pretty quickly, and I don't know what big celebrations are going to look like in the months or even years to follow. However, I am very excited that we have a venue we can return to every year for our anniversary, even if just for dinner, and could actually throw an anniversary party there as often as we want. How often do adults get the opportunity to eat and drink and dance together like that? Pretty much only at weddings, and sooner or later the weddings will stop. Why not have an elaborate anniversary party every now and then?

A photo book we have to remember our guests.

In the meantime, I have this to read over and over, hundreds of photos to look at, and thousands of memories that I'll keep forever.

*Since one person once commented about my use of The Boyfriend, who then became The Fiance, I wanted to address that I just didn't like The Husband. And since I'm dropping the The, I also have to drop capitalization. So husband it is from here on out.

Husband: I hope this post lives up to your expectations. The constant harassment to finish it both inspired and annoyed me, which is probably a better metaphor for marriage than anything else. I love you the most and can't wait to throw massive anniversary parties for decades to come.