August 23, 2009

The Haves And The Have-Nots

The big arguments all boil down to a simple Haves vs. Have-Nots. The Haves are privileged to things like marriage and health care, while the Have-Nots, well, don't. In my part of the world it seems those who Have have it all and those who Have-Not have neither.

The Haves hold steadfast against allowing the Have-Nots to partake in this joyous, blissful experience. I was once approached by a coworker and asked my opinion on gay marriage. (Mind you, I was eating at the bar while reading a book.) I don't remember my response exactly but I tried being PC while conveying my disapproval of Prop 8. She proceeded to tell me how being gay was immoral and if they were allowed to marry it would "undermine [her] marriage to [her] husband." I would have loved to have asked how, exactly, strangers marrying would make her marriage any less beautiful and loving than it apparently was, but I was so floored with her comments to think straight (zing!). Later, back in the office, she wished she didn't have to cater a particular wedding because it had two brides. I told her (in very PC terms) she couldn't pick and choose which events to host, especially in a dying business. The hurt statements like that make to good people around the world, especially my friends, are beyond words.

Health Care
Again, the Haves are against the Have-Nots becoming Haves. A "friend" on Facebook posted his status as "don't the Dems understand that a public health option will cut hundreds of jobs? Or do they just not care?" His conservative friends approved, making me sick. I've been health insurance (and health care) free since December 2007 and couldn't afford the plan the job I got after graduating offered. When I got eczema I went to Urgent Care and paid $400 for some cream and anti-itch pills and was laid off 4 days later. Just because your job provides good health insurance and you pay $20 for a doctor visit and some pills doesn't mean my job provides the same coverage or I can get similar coverage on my own. Should I get in a car collision, contract the flu or need more Protopic I'm on my own, and will join the millions of Americans bankrupt because of medical bills.

Interestingly I started this post while catching up on some Nurse Jackie, which encompasses both marriage and health care. Canada is starting to look pretty good: health care and marriage equality!

August 17, 2009


Strutting her his stuff like the queen she king he is.

Good ol' twenty-something doubt.

Last week I decided my short-term goal is to become an elephant keeper at the Wild Animal Park. I have a quasi-plan to accomplish this which involves a detour in my previous educational plans and putting up with crap work in the mean time, which will most likely involve subbing (if I don't buy a gun) and maybe, just maybe, will involve being an educator at the Park. You can tell yourself not to get your hopes up for a job but then you apply and where do your hopes go? Straight up.

The last year or two I've been struggling with the faith I always had. I want to believe in a higher power, something guiding the events that seem to just happen randomly, to one day be reunited with Milo (and anyone else I lose), to keep that connection to my childhood and one of the biggest things that defined me as a teen, for that higher power to be the Trinity I always knew... I'm told that faith prevents people from finding their own strength and that relying on some force that may or may not be there will prevent someone from one day being able to rely on themselves and the strength they might not otherwise know is there. As a reasonably rational person this makes perfect sense. But it's not what I want, really. I want to have my cake and eat it, too.

On a partially related note to the two above comments, I've been thinking a lot about the human animal. It's interesting which animal species pair for life (see above photo), which live in matriarchal societies (see book to the left)) and which mate randomly. Where do humans fall? The animals we connect to most do not pair for life. In fact, birds pair bond more than any other group- and birds are nothing like us! So what makes us think we're meant to stick with one person for our very long lives? Fact is most of us plain old want to. I used to say I would be OK alone as long as I surround myself with horses and sheep and dogs and ferrets and rats and cats... But now that I know what it's like to live with so much love for another person I can't imagine a life without that. I want to build a life with another person, to have that incredible bond, to lose half of myself if I lose that person. Sure, that's romantic as hell, but I want that stability even if I question its possibility. It's perplexing (to say the least) to see some couples live in long and happy marriages, even with kids and not much money, while my own parents did everything right by the books and are unhappy and divorced. I can only trust my efforts will lead me down a different path.

August 13, 2009

Relationship Rags

Relationships will always sell magazines (or to put it more modernly, will always get page hits). I can't decide if it's because people don't know how to function in relationships or we crave constant validation that we're not as bad as the horror stories we read about. We compare ourselves in our relationships to other people in their relationships, persistently reevaluating our happiness with another person. Magazines oh-so-helpfully provide us with a monthly list of 679 ways to make him/her happy/satisfied/fall in love/ scream your name from the rooftops of every 7-11 in a 50 mile radius.

Men's magazines are just as bad: Men's Health invented 41 ways to make your woman swoon, which amazingly found a way to throw in the tried and true and ever so cliche flowers when you fuck up. Also, they place "get her to fulfill your sexual fantasies" right next to "I don't like giving my girl oral." The only real difference I see in men's magazines versus women's is the males want tips on getting and keeping a girl who will do sexy things and females want to find (or create) that one perfect man who supports her. What about just know who you're dating and do things he/she prefers? Is common sense dead or just sick?

I want to create a magazine for women that skips all the irrelevant relationship bullcrap. The magazine would support the idea that women, as people, can better themselves and their world. It would probably include important news events, any relevant sex and relationship stories (like how abuse can't be tolerated), and ways women can be more socially/environmentally aware with their dress and make-up and social activities. Of course it would have to include some sort of celebrity gossip (gag) that I would not write but must exist in order to be read...

But who am I kidding... the masses don't read stuff like that. Sigh.