I hate my full time job but can't afford to leave it.
I honestly feel like I'm a hard working, dedicated and loyal employee. I want to see the company or group I'm with succeed and I want to help it do so. But I don't want to work for a company where the boss gets rich and the employees are overworked, mistreated and/or peons. I don't want to work for a company that is only concerned about the income and completely unconcerned about customer service or the quality of the product or service they provide. I don't want to have a pit in my stomach on Sunday nights or get a headache driving to work in the morning because I'm fed up, angry, and exhausted. I don't want to see my name being used on shit articles or associated with a company I would never in a million years recommend to anyone.
I want to do something that matters.
I'm not looking to get rich (with a degree in Literature and Writing and an interest in non-profits I've long ago made peace with the fact that that just will not happen even if I want it to), but I don't want to be taken advantage of. I know I can survive on incredibly little money, so a high salary really isn't going to be a deal breaker or even much of a requirement. That being said, I do have a college degree and I'm not going to be happy with a $10 an hour gig no matter how great it is.
All this being said, I can't help but feel like a whiney little girl. I have a full time job at a decent hourly rate (not as good as I'd like but a lot better than a year ago) and can afford my apartment, my car, my new computer and save for a vacation. My life doesn't suck; it's actually pretty great from 530pm to 9am, and I'm at least working with people I really like and am using the skills I learned getting my degree. So why all the complaining? Because it's not enough. I want it all, I really do, and I know I won't be happy until I have it all. And I'm so close. All I want is to work for a company I believe in, a company that deserves my loyalty and dedication, a company I can be proud to work for. And isn't that the American Dream? Am I really asking for too much? I was not led to believe that working a mediocre job was the plan or the goal or even how I would spend my twenties. And wanting every week day to pass by quickly so it can be the weekend again is wasting my summer, my year and eventually my life and that is most certainly not how I want to live.
I'm not asking to find my dream job, though that'd be nice. I'm just asking to not hate the thing I spend the vast majority of my waking life doing.