Dear World

I found this the other day and it inspired to write my own short, honestly sarcastic letters.

Dear World,

See how "world" is singular? See how I didn't say "dear worlds"? Yeah, we just got the one. Let's stop fucking it up.

Sincerely,

I dunno about that whole living on the moon idea.

Dear Tibia,

I just bought fancy new shoes. Why do you still hurt?

Sincerely,

The half marathon is only 2 months away

Dear Rich Relatives,

If you can fly half way across the country for funzies a few weeks in advance you're not living day to day.

Sincerely,

Living paycheck to paycheck sucks

Dear Eczema,

You're early this year! Now please go away.

Sincerely,

I would like to get laid

Dear Half Marathon,

Did it have to be on Daylight Saving Time?

Sincerely,

I work nights

Dear Students,

The "wash me" in Spanish on my window was funny, the dick was not.

Sincerely,

Grow up

Dear Economy,

Soooooo when's that whole "looking up" thing gonna go down?

Sincerely,

Job hunting is a full time job

Dear Neighbors,

You have the biggest parking spot. Is it necessary to encroach on ours? Could you learn to park within your lines?

Sincerely,

I'm going to dent your passenger door

Thanks, World. I feel better.

Sarcasm

A company created a sarcastic punctuation mark. Because it's not totally obvious when we type sarcastically.

(Sarcasm alert.)

But really, someone out there is capitalizing on this. Bravo to them, honestly, because I wish I'd thought to create a lame swirly dot and charge people two bucks for it. Certainly would make only working 2 days this week much easier...

It looks like this:

The kicker? You pay $1.99 for something no one else understands! Yes, I know it's sometimes difficult to have a conversation with someone (like me) when you're not sure they're being sarcastic. But punctuation? That's what ellipses are for... And italics. And reading comprehension. At the most we should appoint an already existing symbol, something we don't have to pay some bullshit ninja company $2 to use, for sarcasm. Or, if we have to mark sarcasm, write it in a smaller font. Like, duh.

Although, it would be great to start seeing this symbol pop up and watch people recognize the sarcasm but not understand the symbol, and just assume whoever is typing is an idiot when they're really just trying to more accurately convey sarcasm. Isn't it ironic?