Dividing The Holidays

The boyfriend and I wanted to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas together this year, which meant dividing the holidays between our two families. It's not the first time I didn't spend both holidays with my family (I worked Thanksgiving and Christmas a couple years ago, seeing my family beforehand), but it is the first time I chose to spend one of the holidays with a boyfriend's family. 

We decided to spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine. I'd met his parents before so that wouldn't be new, but it would be my first time meeting any other relatives. The plan was to go to his aunt and uncle's place in a nearby town, where I'd meet aunts, uncles and cousins from his dad's side. 

When we got there I was introduced to a flood of people and of course I don't remember most of their names. But I did end up sitting next to the funniest aunts, one of whom was laughing so hard (and at her own stories!) that she had to wipe tears from her eyes. They told stories of the jokes they played on their kids, of the unbelievable mishaps (a fake leg falling off while on a bicycle, no joke), of Thanksgivings past, and stories of relatives who weren't there and couldn't defend themselves. It was hilarious. They had me laughing so hard along with them that, along with several sarcastic comments, made me feel like I fit in.

Talking with some people a few days later I was asked if there were any foods at their Thanksgiving that weren't foods I was used to or anything I always had that they didn't have, and I realized there was no pumpkin pie. No pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving... I was surprised I didn't realize it at the time considering how pumpkin anything is pretty much my favorite. The boyfriend shrugged it off when I brought it up. They just don't really do pumpkin pie. Goddamn travesty.

Besides eating two fills of pumpkin pie over Christmas, I'm really excited to bring the boyfriend. And he's really excited, too! Having sisters makes holidays and special occasions so much fun and this year I get to share that with the person I love. As an only child he never spent Christmas morning with brothers, and though his extended family always got together cousins just aren't the same. This year he'll get to spend Christmas with my siblings, which I realize still isn't the same but he'll see how it is with us and be included in that.

What Thanksgiving Used To Mean

For a client, I wrote a blog post on fatty Thanksgiving foods after being inspired by one of the most disgusting food videos I've ever seen. (Blog post is here. :) )

I thought it'd be a great topic for the week before Thanksgiving, but when I was doing my research on the fattiest Thanksgiving foods, the only things showing up in search was low-cal Thanksgiving recipes. My searches for "fattiest Thanksgiving recipes" and "high calorie Thanksgiving foods" turned up articles on a lighter Thanksgiving, a low-cal Thanksgiving, and advice on how to not overdo it during the holiday. 

What happened? Why are we now obsessed with making lighter dishes on Thanksgiving, the one day of the year we celebrate our abundance of food? It's because Thanksgiving is no longer the one day of the year we have more food than we know what to do with. We regularly over-indulge, regularly eat beyond being full, and regularly feel sick from too much food. 

Now, the internet is full of Thanksgiving recipes that teach cooks how to make the same dishes with fewer calories. Now, we're told to not put marshmallows on our sweet potatoes, skip the cream of mushroom and fried onions on the green beans, bake potatoes rather than mash them with butter and cream, and skip the bread and rolls. 

I know I'm being a bit of a hypocrite when I say this, especially since running a blog called We Should Be Fat, but I wouldn't mind going back to when giant meals were a special occasion. I wouldn't mind us, as a country, enjoying our meals for what they are, and knowing what they are. We should put some butter and cream in our mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving and enjoy them without worrying about how many miles we'll have to run to work it off, but we should be far more sensible about how we eat on a more regular basis. 

Louis C.K. says the meal is not over when he's full, it's over when he hates himself. And it's funny because it's true for a lot of us. (He also says he runs 5 miles every other day to keep up "this shitty body.") We eat, and then we keep eating until our bodies tell us we're full, and then we feel like absolute shit 20 minutes later, when those last few helpings have settled in. And it's not like we're shoveling in vegetables... we're eating meat at every meal, often with bread, followed up with sweets. And we wonder why there's an obesity crisis.

I was a supporter of Prop 37 that would have required the labeling of genetically modified foods because I saw it as a step in the right direction. We have no idea what we're eating, partially because we don't read the nutrition labels to know what actually comprises those frozen chicken nuggets and partially because a simple ingredient like corn (which is in fucking everything - go look) is comprised of a number of new chemicals that aren't listed. We're eating more, enjoying food less, and suffering because of our over abundance. Our farm animals get the vast, vast majority of our antibiotics (not because they're sick, either), we're polluting our country and other countries laugh at us because of our food habits.

If we don't go full steam ahead with every meal and regret the vast majority of what we eat, we can enjoy what we eat more and worry about it less. We can let Thanksgiving go back to what it used to be - a day to be thankful for what we have, which in this country is more often than not an abundance.

Why I Love Fall So Much

The only time of year I feel it's acceptable to dress up the animals.

When I start talking about how I love fall the first response I get is usually "well, cause it's your birthday." Which is true. I know a lot of people who love summer who were born in summer, so it stands to reason. Plus, I do love my birthday. 

Halloween being in the middle of fall, and being arguably the best holiday (especially if you're an adult), also helps a whole lot. 

Anyone can like a season or even have a favorite. I'm a little obsessed with how much I love fall. People typically feel about summer the way I feel about fall, which makes a lot of sense to a lot of people. But part of the reason why fall warrants a slight obsession is because it's so short. The fall season doesn't start until late September, and here in Southern California September and October are very summer-y months (much to the dismay of some of those summer-loving people, who get stuck with May Gray and June Gloom). This year the autumn solstice was one of the hotter, more humid days. Instead of cool breezes we got hot, dry Santa Ana winds. Rather than an overcast morning it was pushing 80 degrees before 9am. By the time it feels like fall it'll be halfway through October, and often it won't really feel like fall until November (especially if San Diego burns to the ground this year, which I have a sneaking suspicion it might). Then, as soon as Thanksgiving is over we're on to Christmas, almost a month before the winter solstice.

Actually that's a lie. I was in Target tonight and there were Halloween decorations right next to Christmas decorations. It's not even October yet.

So, fall doesn't really start until mid-October and ends as soon as we finish the last bites of pumpkin pine on Thanksgiving. Like, 5 weeks of autumn before we have to get ready for Christmas and winter. 

At least I get the whole month of October to enjoy, starting with my birthday and ending with Halloween, even if both days are hot and dry.

Relationships, Family and The Holidays

This is how I'm spending Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sweet.

I like my sisters' boyfriends and I like my dad's girlfriend. Who knows when I'll get to say that again so I'm excited to say it now. The last quarter of the year is historically difficult for my family, but everyone seems content now and I hope it lasts through Christmas. I always felt weird when boyfriends and girlfriends came for holidays because for the longest time I was the only one who had a SO and he was rarely invited to those things; I was OK with my boyfriends not coming to holidays because no one else's did, but when other SOs started coming and mine didn't it got awkward.

This year is epically different. For the first time since I was 16 I don't have a boyfriend to (not) invite to Thanksgiving or Christmas. I'm sure to be on the work schedule for Thanksgiving and most likely Christmas too, so I may excuse myself as well. Apparently my mom is spending Christmas with her dog in Palm Springs (she usually announces her absence from Christmas around this time but come December 24th her plans fall through and she wants to do brunch), so Thanksgiving with our mom will be easier on my sisters if I'm not there and they can have Christmas with our dad and their SOs without a 7th wheel. Meanwhile, I'll spend Thanksgiving with some great friends and might spend Christmas with some neighbors (ooh, maybe I'll finally get my ear pierced again!).

I'll admit I am a little sad at the relief I hear in the voices of those I care about when they counsel me on The Break-Up. My mom has yet to approve of a boyfriend of mine and that caused many problems in my family... Knowing that The Ex cared so much for me that he forever alienated my mom by standing up to her still hurts, but that strength and love will be something I look for in my next relationship. I already know I won't worry about whether or not my mom approves of who I love, but I hope her influence over the rest of my family is gone. I'm also a little sad that just after I gave up the person I thought would be the love of my life my dad and my sisters come into relationships that make everyone the happiest I've seen in a good long time. Part of me wishes I could have shared in their happiness for just a little bit. But I know each has exactly what he or she needs right now: they have someone to better them and I have solitude.

I'm looking forward to an autumn with my friends, a winter at the Park, and maybe a new man for the new year...