Why I Love The Oatmeal

As far as internet comedians go, The Oatmeal is easily one of my favorites. I started going to the website for the grammar and stayed for the ridiculousness.

The Oatmeal combines silly cartoons of dinosaurs (and other, non-extinct, animals) with intelligent observations on life. I mean, the guy made a guide on how to pet a kitty. And it's completely accurate. And hilarious! Outside of grammar my favorite comics are called Minor Differences. I look at them at work sometimes and have to try very hard to not literally lol (Part 4 is my favorite).

Also, I found out The Oatmeal is a runner. And not just the I'm-gonna-take-a-quick-jog type of runner. He ran a 50 mile ultra marathon. Through mountains. That's hardcore running.

So not only is The Oatmeal a funny and insightful comic, but he brings awareness of our wonderful language to the masses (if you use the wrong you're/your on Facebook you better believe I'm judging you) and he's apparently a very active person. Props to you, Mr. Oatmeal. And please post things more often.

Eating Dogs

Don't do a Google image search for "dog meat."

Depending on where you live, the concept of eating dogs really doesn't give people the reaction that it probably (hopefully) gives you.

However, this is not going to be a debate about eating dogs.

I came across this article on CNN a while back that was provocatively titled "What's wrong with eating dog meat?" So of course I clicked on it, because... well, that's what it was there for (so I'm a sucker). The article was written in a slightly negative tone about how animal activists complained enough to make the Korea Dog Farmers' Association cancel their dog meat festival, which was designed to showcase the upside of eating dog.

Dog meat isn't actually consumed very often in Korea, so that's not the point (China is a little bit of a different story). The point is going to be a less animal activist and a lot more English major.

First, the writer calls it ironic that animal activists claim we shouldn't eat dogs because they're companion animals even though Korea didn't have many companion dogs until very recently. That's not ironic.

Second, the writer pulls quotes from other authorities to describe the difference between Korea's pet dog population (in the city) and meat dog population (on shit farms in the country), and how the only difference between these two types of dogs is that one was born in one place and one was born in another. As soon as this quote is finished, the writer launches into a just-because-we-don't-do-it-here-doesn't-mean-it's-bad closing argument. WTF? Where did that come from?

Her last words, calling a practice bad just because it's not a worldwide practice doesn't make a very good argument, follow several (very short) paragraphs about how dog meat isn't even a popular food, how more and more Koreans are taking on pet dogs and how animal activists in Korea have effectively shut down pro-dog meat festival. Ms Emily Lodish, you do not know how to construct an argument either for or against something.

But your editor can write a damn controversial title.

Boyfriend

Might've taken a few "o hai"'s...

That's a word I haven't said in a long time.

It's a word I've certainly wanted to say, especially in the last year, but no one really seemed to fit the bill. Turns out there was in fact one person I met in the last year who would fit the bill, who I was constantly texting, who was always down to hang out, and who shares my passion for animals and good food. Who knew, right?

My boyfriend (still getting used to saying that) and I started out as friends. Kind of... we started off on pseudo-dates, which progressed to friendship, which progressed to very good friendship, which has now turned into a full-fledged (and incredibly intense) romance. My pattern certainly seems to be dating acquaintances, but this is the first time I've gone after someone who has such an involvement in my life. I'm definitely digging it.

Although this whole thing is still incredibly new there's already a lot to be excited about. I can honestly say there hasn't been a person I've been this crazy for. Ever. Not that I've dated a lot, but still, for two weeks I've been constantly excited. Again, I know it's still brand new, and I know exactly how silly I sound, but I can't help that past boyfriends (and almost-boyfriends) have started out more meh than anything. Finally, a man who is actively exciting me from the get-go and who certainly seems to be just as excited about me. I could get used to this.

For more than a year if I couldn't have a boyfriend I at least wanted to be excited about someone, to have a crush on someone, or just even to be thinking about someone; when I started thinking about this guy I never expected to not only get those feelings and then some, but to have those feelings returned so absolutely. And the best part is because of our pre-existing friendship I already know what kind of person he is, he already knows what kind of person I am and (get this) we like each other anyway. There's no worrying about exposing our dorky sides and no need to hide behind whatever facade people hide behind when beginning a relationship. There's a high level of honesty and comfort built in.

I promise this blog won't be turned into a sappy lovey thing (I'll prove it with my next post), but it's just been a while since I've felt this way about someone, and there's never been a person to make me feel this instantly connected to him. I'm looking forward to the road ahead and the fun times it's sure to bring.

EDIT: Also, the universe works in a kind of funny way. A month after I decide to take a break from birth control for an unspecified amount of time I find someone I want to be with long term, someone I can't wait to undress and someone who wants babies even less than I do. . I feel like Robin when she meets Don because everyone told her as soon as she said she wanted to focus on her career she'd meet someone, except that for me it was birth control and I already knew the person I'd meet. And I'm very, very OK with that.

A Boy And His Dog

This came up in a Google image search for "ridiculously happy." Seemed appropriate.

In any normal situation I would never dream of coming between a boy and his dog. Last night, however, was not any normal situation...

When we're wooing a guy, women will go to all sorts of lengths to look impressive. We have make-up and tons of clothes and accessories available to make us feel sexy; I've definitely dressed the part and gotten all dolled up, but oh my god I don't think I've ever felt sexier in my whole life than when I was wearing just a t-shirt and a boy's favorite pajama pants. Nothing could have been more comfortable or felt better than that pair of well-loved burgundy pajamas while we made dinner. I'm not sure whether it was that I was offered pajama pants, that my boy offered them to me because he wanted to wear pajama pants himself, or that I was offered his favorite pair, but wearing them made me feel like a million bucks.

Back to this not being a normal situation: I'm not even really sure what a normal situation is, but I've been thinking and I can't remember a time I smiled this much or for this long without stopping. It's been 6 days and it feels like... I can't even say. I typed out a few similes but nothing sounded right. It feels amazing to be grinning this much, though.

Last night I fell asleep with a boy pressed up against me on one side and his dog cuddled against me on the other side, and there was nowhere in the world I'd have rather spent the night. I would have been happy to have spent the night with either of the two (though I'm quite a bit more partial to the boy) but sleeping in between both was like the best security blanket I could have imagined. I felt so welcome, so wanted, and leaving that comfortable place was the last thing I wanted to do this morning.

In any normal situation I'd never come between a boy and his dog, but if that boy and his dog welcome me between them I'll be the happiest person to stay.

Yes On 8

One of the worst stereotyping I do is towards someone driving a car with a Yes on 8 bumper sticker. But the other day I saw the worst yet: an innocent-looking bumper sticker with two very wholesome child faces and the words "I want a mommy and a daddy please!" This particular sticker shared a bumper with a regular Yes on 8 sticker, which just infuriated me (you're so against gays marrying that you're declaring it with two bumper stickers?!), and the woman driving looked like a choir singer. There are several reasons the bumper sticker I saw is one of the dumbest things around, and I'll illustrate these reasons:

First, the bumper sticker implied Prop 8 was about gays having children. Getting married, believe it or not, is not the same as having children. Just because gay citizens want the same rights as all other citizens to marry the person they love does not have anything to do with anybody being a parent. Prop 8 was about whether we should allow same sex couples to marry one another and get the benefits of being married, like financial benefits and beneficiary benefits.

Second, the sticker implies a gay couple must be married in order to adopt children, which is untrue: a gay couple is allowed to adopt children (or at the least a gay couple is not expressly prohibited from adopting children) in the majority of our states. For that matter, adopting children together is not contingent upon marriage regardless of your sexual orientation.

Third, the sticker implied all children have both a mother and a father, that both the mother and the father want the kids, and that both the mother and the father will be present for the child's life, which is COMPLETELY UNTRUE. Parents leave their kids all the time! Parents get divorced and move far away, parents die, and parents are just fucking absent. Children do not always have a mother and a father when the parents are straight, and probably not even the majority of the time (am I being too cynical?).

Fourth, the sticker implies that if a kid has a straight mother and a straight father (regardless of if they're married), both parents will actively take on the role of parents, which means caring for and acting in the best interest of the kid(s). This implication is that all children are wanted and all straight parents do a good job (which is why we don't have a foster system in the first place! Oh wait...).

Fifth, and this is something the makers and displayers of this bumper sticker may intend, the sticker implies divorce should be against the law. If marriage is what we do when we want kids, then divorce really has no place in our society. So if gays can't marry because they shouldn't have kids, then straight married couples should not be allowed to divorce.

There are probably a host of other reasons why that particular Yes on 8 bumper sticker is dumb as shit, but these are the most glaringly obvious. It pains me to see, in this day and age and especially in this state, people so opposed to other people's existence or ways of life that they have to proclaim it in loud yellow in their cars. One day, hopefully in my lifetime, we'll look back on this time of gay oppression and think how dumb we were...