May 4, 2009

Virgin Lips

Every so often we see stories like this, where a couple touts the goodness of remaining "pure" for their spouses on their wedding days. For the sake of ranting, I'll ignore the idea that purity is the woman's responsibility because the men in the article also saved kissing for the altar.

First, the people who wait until marriage tend to get married very young. Of course your fiance seems perfect... you've only known him/her a year and you haven't had the chance to discover their dirty secrets. No wonder it was worth the wait if the wait was only a year.

Second, if you haven't had sex you don't know what you'll like about it. Relationships have broken up due to sexual problems. What are the chances the person you marry is just the right size for you and likes exactly the same things you do if you've never tried?

Third, having sex with someone isn't just about lust and penetration. It's about sharing a bed, sharing a bathroom, getting used to the idea that you can't hog the sheets or sleep sprawled out in the center of the bed. It's about your partner's tidiness, cleanliness, and timeliness. The physical act of sex brings so much more to the table that can't be learned otherwise and allows for unimaginable intimacy. 

Fourth, if you're having your first kiss on your wedding day, will you jump right to sex on your wedding night? How is that not awkward? Weddings are tiring, stressful events and the happy couple has to spend hours hugging relatives, kissing, dancing, traveling, and smiling, and are then expected to try having sex for the first time? Surprisingly, many couples still say it's worth the wait.

Fifth, if your first kiss is so special you want to have it with only one person, why would you want 100+ people to watch? Are they also going to watch you have sex for the first time? Maybe if it's that sacred you should have the first one in private.

Last, the plus side of waiting until your wedding day to kiss and have sex is you can mould your partner into whatever sexual shape you want (assuming, of course, you're sexually compatible). You can teach your spouse exactly how you like to be kissed, touched, and... everything else. You learn together and neither have anything to compare the other to. I still think it's a bad idea, since you have no idea what you're getting into, but if it's that important to both people then to each their own.

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