Everything Clever Comes From Reddit

 

I was having a conversation with some friends not long ago and we were discussing stories we'd heard about and articles we'd read (news, politics, economics, all very informed stuff). After several minutes, and once I realized that everything I had to contribute to the conversation was something I had read on Reddit, I remembered my friends probably also had found their information from Reddit. 

So when my turn came to contribute again, I said that I read on Reddit an article about whatever it was that we'd been talking about. One of my friends nodded and said that's where he'd seen it too. I figured we all knew we spend time on Reddit and most, if not all, of our intelligent conversation was coming from things we'd seen on the site, so we might as well just admit it. 

Which was kinda cool, in a way. Here we are, young professionals having a beer and talking about things that are going on in the world right now, all because we spend an hour or two (fine, fine, 6) browsing this one website. We're informed in politics, we have an educated opinion about the economy, we're aware of our environment and we care about events across the world. 

The other day I saw a picture of an engagement ring some guy had posted, asking for luck as he flew to another country to meet his girlfriend to propose. Some people had commented that he better hope she doesn't see it and the surprise is ruined, while others were offering suggestions on how he should actually propose, since he hadn't figured that part out yet. He said he figured she wouldn't see it, since she'd already been traveling for a week with friends and wouldn't have had the time to browse enough Reddit to see it (it wasn't on the front page, so it would have been unlikely she'd go through pages and pages to discover it), and that if she found out his brilliant or clever or romantic proposal came from some idea on Reddit she'd be OK with it because she already knew anything clever or interesting came from Reddit. And that's when I realized it's the same with me.

Kind of impressive to think that one website can have so much influence. Because I browse Reddit for at least a few minutes every day (some days much more) and subscribe to "subreddits" that I'm interested in, I'm up to date on things I care about. In fact, a lot of the articles I read on the site show up on Facebook and in the Huffington Post a day or two later. (Aside: I can usually tell which of my Facebook friends are Redditors based on the articles they post.) We're becoming a generation who is not only interested in what's going on outside of our immediate lives, but we have an opinion and sometimes we even care enough to do something about it. It's fantastic. 

Fuck yeah!

I really hope that this experience is turning us into activists who decide to not sit by and let bad things happen.... maybe that's just the idealism talking in me but it'd be nice to think that all of this information being spread around to all parts of the world has to have an impact on something. Right?

Paying Attention To Ads

Actual Facebook ad on my profile

If I were to pay attention to all the ads that are tailored for me (though their methods for "tailoring" are total crap) I would feel the need to change everything about myself.

I signed up for the LivingSocial and Groupon emails, and also now get emails from Amazon and Amazon Local. My morning inbox gets crowded, and my trash box must be overflowing. The vast, vast majority of those deals are about beauty and weight loss. Body wraps, eyelash extensions, gym memberships, bootcamp classes, hair coloring, liposuction, and so on. Occasionally dental services, which I'm actually interested in, but still many of them focus more on whitening than teeth health. A quite small portion of these ads are for fun events (some runs, even), restaurants, or services and those are the reason I'm even signed up for these promotions.

Then, if I were to listen to Facebook I should be picking out my engagement ring and bridesmaids dresses. Having used Facebook ads for work before, the engagement ring ads I see must target a very wide audience, the requirements being only that the target individual is female and in a relationship. Since I don't include my age or my anniversary date with my boyfriend on Facebook, these advertisers must only be going off the two bits of information I provide them with. I've experienced this with Facebook before, and have dealt with ads that were promoting fertility (along with engagement rings) the last time I was in a relationship and then ads offering help on getting a man when I was single. It seems that no matter what I can't just be happy with the way things are; I always have to be wanting something more. Thank goodness I have Facebook!

Oh, they also have access to my likes and interests. I have a lot of environmental organizations that I like and very frequently post about animals or conservation, so the majority of these engagement ring ads are trying to sell me an eco-friendly diamond engagement ring. Now, I don't know a whole lot about the eco-friendly ring or even the diamond ring industries, but I know how diamonds are mined (think big gaping holes in the earth), leading me to think "eco-friendly diamond ring" sounds a whole lot like "clean coal." It's an oxymoron. I'm sure that makes a lot of women feel great about their rocks, or will convince them to even pay more for them. I'm also thinking that eco-friendly or conflict-free diamond rings are the result of the whole green movement in general, and I imagine rings are more subject to being "green washed" than things like tea and soap.

Even if a ring is "conflict-free" or "as-eco-friendly-as-a-diamond-ring-can-get", the fact remains that the majority of the world's diamonds come from the same place and pass through the hands of one company (which, to be fair, has decreased from 80% of the world production and market to less than 50% in recent years) and diamonds were one of the reasons there was so much war and death in the Congo (which hasn't stopped yet). Diamond mining and production caused a whole lot of other environmental problems, namely the destruction of habitat for war and the extinction or near extinction of many species. Thanks at least in part to the diamond ring industry, the Congolese people are literally fighting for survival and do anything to stay alive today, thinking nothing of depleting resources for tomorrow, which includes killing endangered animals and destroying habitat and mining the earth for pretty rocks.

End tangent, back to the ads: these ring ads are even pushing the get engaged now timeline without knowing (or caring about) the length of time I've been in a relationship, by telling me I can view rings on my phone, order, and then go pick it up in the store with my fiancé. How romantic. Although it wouldn't surprise me to know that people get engaged that way. I know most women want diamond rings and most women want to love their rings, which makes sense considering you plan to wear it for the rest of your life, but to not trust that the love of your life can pick one out that you'd like seems a little sketchy. My sister had the unfortunate experience to go through an engagement she didn't want with the ugliest ring I'd ever seen, in a style she said she explicitly told the guy she didn't want (red flag!), so I get wanting to make sure your ring is something you like. But having it all picked out and telling your man to go pay for it and then give it to you seems to take all the fun and surprise out of it. Ideally (and maybe this is my problem), you'd be with someone long enough for him to get a sense of your style and what you'd like and if he was still having problems he'd feel comfortable enough asking a friend or close relative for help. But what do I know... the idea of diamonds in general isn't exactly appealing to me. It would be difficult to look at something every day and wonder where it came from; even if I were to get an eco-friendly diamond I'd mistrust it and would be more inclined to think the eco-friendly part was more marketing ploy than actual truth. And I don't know if that's something worth wearing every day, much less spending thousands of dollars on it to do so.

Luckily for me, I have a pretty decent body image, generally high self esteem, and am quite pleased with the relationship I'm in, so getting emails for body "enhancements" and seeing constant ads for tying the knot don't phase me too much. Admittedly, they annoy me enough to write a whole post on it, but clearly I've done it before.

Texting

Lol.

This is a strange text conversation I had today with someone I thought I was related to (took out names, kept his mistakes):

Not My Cousin: Hello there.. I got a new phone and I only have you as a number.. Who is this?

Me: Your favorite cousin Lindsay :)

NMC: Do you know who I am?

Me: It came up as (my cousin) so I guess (my cousin)...

NMC: ..Nope.. This is (not your cousin)

Me: Then how'd you get my number?

NMC: You texted me some time ago.. And I didn't know who it was.. Do you know someone named (not your cousin)?

Me: No but I just got this number 8 months ago. You might've known whoever had it before me. Weird that you have my cousin's number...

NMC: Hmm well I'm sorry haha.. And someone call me 2 days ago.. Cussing me out.. And saying I was someone named (your cousin).. So look out for that guy.. He sounds like a psycho

(Much later)

Me: Ok so do you know me? You sent me a friend request on Facebook. (The request was from two days ago.)

NMC: I send a request.. Cus I have you name and number in my phone.. And I wanted to know who you where haha

Something's missing in this whole ordeal. Someone, who is in my phone as my cousin, is texting me asking who I am, but then says he knows my name and is trying to friend me on Facebook. The only thing I can think of that doesn't end in complete and total coincidence is I included my cousin in the mass texts I sent out when I got my new number, only my cousin no longer had the phone number I knew. This guy with my cousin's old phone number then must have hung onto my new phone number despite not knowing who I am, and (from what I remember) never asked. Then for some reason apparently decided however many months later to find out more about me through texting some story about a new number, which can't be true if it still comes up in my phone, and Facebook.

Either that or this guy got my cousin's old number and he knows whoever had my new number before me. But that's pretty coincidental.

Subliminal Advertising

You know you gonna buy that Hershey's syrup.

I think Facebook is trying to tell me something.

A while back Facebook decided the ads on profiles should be somewhat relevant. If you didn't like an ad you could remove it and were given a list of reasons to choose from to state why you didn't agree with the ad, from it being irrelevant to it being spam. So it's gotten a little better. At least now I'm not seeing ads for getting pregnant (but then again, now my status is single; at least Facebook isn't encouraging single motherhood).

But, now it seems Facebook thinks I need a boyfriend. Here's a sample of the ads on my profile:

Are you simple or sexy? Take a style quiz to determine your perfect fashion preference. I'm not sure I need an online quiz to determine if I'm simple or sexy. Everything I own is comfortable; there is nothing in my closet (except for one pair of heels I bought for a Halloween costume) that is fashion before comfort. The website is all about shopping celebrity and designer fashions and analyzing your style. Is this suggesting I need to update my style if I have any hope of getting a boyfriend? Kind of feels like it, especially when the next ad I see is:

Make him addicted to you. Learn the "secret psychology" to making a man fall in love with you and hooking him into a long term relationship. (Facebook says I've been single too long.) The website is run by a married woman who claims these secrets helped her save her relationship and turn it into a 20-year marriage. And you could too! All you have to do is sign up for membership and you'll attract men like magnets. There was a similar ad a few weeks ago promising to hook your man forever just by saying one thing. I couldn't help but guess that one thing was "I swallow." And if these tricks fail, there's always:

Earn a UCSD MBA. If you can't go slut and the "secret psychology" doesn't work there's always the nerds. Go for higher education and maybe you'll meet a nice man in class. It's like what college for women used to be before we realized we kick ass: go to college to spend some time not living with mom and dad, graduate with an engagement ring and spend the rest of your life forgetting anything you might have learned in those 4 years. But you can't go all CEO because ball busting women are just not sexy. However, these methods for grabbing your man could fail, and you might as well give up. Hence:

San Diego bucket list. At the very least I can live a full life doing fun things in my city alone. Manless. But there's one saving grace. The URL includes the words "living social," which tells me it's yet another means of meeting potential men. However, when I go to the website I find the best daily deals for Washington DC. Um, Facebook? I live in San Diego. I've never even been to Washington DC. Or Washington state, for that matter. I'm not looking to meet a man not in San Diego. If I were, well, I think everyone knows that story.

The dignity of Facebook is pretty much out the door.

Here is a note of feedback I submitted to Facebook today:

*EDIT: All of our complaints made a difference! More than 2 million users petitioned Facebook to cut it with the ridiculous changes (though that's only 1% of all users, it's still the most feedback they've ever gotten) and they're listening. Thanks for the link, Dan!

Seriously, it's terrible. The fact that you can control status updates of friends who post "sleeping, then going to work, then eating..." is useful because no one cares to know those things. This is not Twitter and anyone who feels the need to update the world on their minute daily experiences by the hour can just go to Twitter. That's what it's there for, that's why I do not have a Twitter account. I switched to Facebook from MySpace because Facebook, back then, was for college students. Then you decided to let professionals in, which was cool because we could benefit from that. Then you decided to let the whole world in and that was OK at first because the layout and style were still cultured. But then your ads started targeting me as someone who obviously needs to lose weight, get married, and get pregnant (not necessarily in that order)* and you started "updating Facebook to follow whatever silly fad was happening at the time. The dignity of Facebook is pretty much out the door. Something was created that was original and a great idea. It catered to the fewer, and those fewer were happy. But then it started getting all concerned with popularity and things went down the toilet and now, since it's so entertaining to know the hourly details of everyone's lives, Facebook has pretty much become Twitter with more elaborate profiles. Get a backbone and decide what "Facebook" wants to be and stick to it. You'll piss off more people trying to stick with whatever popular fad is out there and changing shit up all the time than you will by maintaining one personality.

Since you say you listen to feedback (do you really read every letter? I think this one deserves a response) and change Facebook solely based on the input of your users, I can only assume the rest of the world is telling you to change all the time to be more like MySpace and Twitter. But seeing as how the majority of the top "Help" searches are about how to go back to the old Facebook I'm guessing not. And if so, then it only makes sense that I leave, because this is not what I signed up for. 

Oh, and by the way, there HAS to be a way to get rid of the "Highlights" section on the home page. Really? Those are highlights? People I don't see anymore, don't really care to see anymore but can't "un-friend" because they still live with my sister get drunk and sing karaoke and those videos are what I see EVERY single time I'm on Facebook? I can't remove them? The sound on my computer is busted, so I can't watch them even if I wanted to. But no, these are apparently the "highlights" of my "friends" lives so I'm forced to be reminded of their antics and how they felt the need to post Karaoke and Soju parts 1-5. Really? I wasn't there, I wasn't invited, I wouldn't have gone anyway because I really don't like Karaoke and really don't like the drama that follows these people everywhere they go, and I must be reminded that my drunk former roommates like karaoke. I'm just sick of it all. This is nowhere near the Facebook I signed up for, the Facebook millions of us signed up for, and at least some of us want out, i we're not going to be heard. We do not approve, Facebook mods. The new home page sucks ass. 

Thank you kindly.

*About those ads: whatever happened to the Victoria's Secret and study abroad ads? Why must my entire life be about losing weight, getting married and having babies? Did that petition that was circulating around a while back to get rid of the "lustful" VS ads really make you guys take it down? I love VS! I do not love babies. And I do not have the need for a wedding photographer. I want my sexy underwear back, dammit.