A Leak

At the end of a week that just didn't want to give any breaks (and the end of 9 months of apartment issues), my apartment sprung a leak.

It was a Friday night, my mom was visiting, and we'd had sushi and wine. The boyfriend stood next to my bed and told me the floor was really warm. Unusually warm. I shrugged it off - my apartment is always unusually warm and there's a spot in the bathroom that's always really warm (the cat loves it). On Saturday night he goes to put on his pajama pants, but they're wet - and my carpet is wet. And very warm. And the legs on my wooden bookshelf have visible water damage. Excellent.

We slept on couches in the living room, the recent sinkholes in the news on our minds and the slight fear we'd wake up in a lake, but in the morning my room was still there and only slightly more damp. My apartment manager came over to inspect and let me know best and worst case scenarios, both of which included excavation. So Sunday night I took the cat to the boyfriend's, along with what I'd need for the next couple of days, and left my apartment.

This happened.

And this.

And this.

The water pipe for my whole complex, which traveled under the concrete in my room and through the footing of the whole building, had a leak. They had to shut off all water for two days and the hot water for one night, giving my neighbors zero notice. It's been 10 days and 11 nights so far for me - I stopped by almost every day to grab the mail and check up on things and ended up talking to the plumbers a few times; I learned this had happened before, apparently in the exact same spot. 

There is some discoloration next to the new concrete, which I think is the evidence of a past leak. Oh, and now I have to clean my tub because they turned on the faucet and it ran brown water and no one rinsed it out.

Also, there was a large dip in the asphalt in the alley, right behind my parking space, that had suddenly appeared. It was annoying but I hadn't paid much attention to it because the whole alley is in desperate need of repaving. But it was deep enough and at the worst angle for getting in and out of my spot that I was a little concerned I'd pop a tire. But no worries, now that's fixed.

My room? 

Still got that little hole. And this is the state of my furniture:

My bed is in three different parts, in three different parts of the apartment. 

This was taken the day after my apartment manager told me I could go back to my apartment. Um, no. Also, it still looks like this 9 days later.

It might come as little surprise, then, that I'm moving! The cat and I have been staying with the boyfriend and the dog for the last week and a half, and I kind of don't even want to go back. There is so much cleaning that needs to happen before I'll feel comfortable sleeping there again, and it'd be far too much effort to clean that much only to move in two weeks. But I will right my bed... it'll be harder to sell like that.

In Which I Am A Stereotype

Also, a girl.

No idea why this was the first girl I thought of.

In a twist that's mostly unlike me I'm feeling extraordinarily insecure about the world, my own life especially. I feel like I'm failing at most things and being mediocre at the rest and that in order to improve in any one area I need to give up another. Between working, training for a half marathon, the two blogs and job searching my time runs out so quickly. I'm tired constantly, have little energy and spending close to 12 hours a day working (or preparing to work) at a job that's emotionally tiring makes my enjoyable evenings fly by. 

It's disgusting how one of my coworker's is being treated and that I'm being used as a pawn to hurt her after I tried to step in and help, it's terrifying how one owner seems to be actively trying to run the company into the ground and it's frustrating to have been there a year with very little positive changes to the company. I don't have the tools to properly do my job, despite asking for them repeatedly, and have been told we're all expendable, which feels awesome. There is a silver lining to my job: I'm now in charge of the company's social media campaign in addition to writing, there are more promises of taking me off phone call duty (we'll see...), and one owner seems to really appreciate me. 

I loved running 15 months ago when I had only a part time job that I didn't have to get up early for and could do my running first thing, which I prefer but am much too tired to motivate myself to get up at 6. Now it's just an hour or more into my night that I could spend relaxing, cooking, cleaning, running errands, and keeping better tabs on this blog. I had more time to plan my meals to fuel my body and help it recover, could eat immediately and then rest after a long run, and had the energy to keep going without stopping for double digit miles. All of that is gone now. But even if I didn't have the blogs or didn't want to spend time with my boyfriend I wouldn't want my life to only consist of working and running- I don't like either that much. I miss when running was fun and having to do it makes it not fun.

On a daily basis I see people who have made their living from their blog or their passion (hell... I'm dating someone who's doing that) and I'm jealous. I read home remodeling blogs at work, follow people making a difference for animals on Facebook, watch my boyfriend become more successful doing what he loves and feel like I put in a lot of effort and time for something I don't care about, something that doesn't matter. I want to care about what I do, I want to work for a company that respects its employees and tries as hard as we do to make it into something great, and I'm not even asking or hoping to make a lot of money... just to sustain myself and live a modest life without worry. 

But a big part of my newfound insecurity is knowing that there are things I definitely want that I may not get. I've always wanted to get my Master's degree and for the last couple of years have wanted to pursue sociology, partially because it's a field I'm interested in that truly matters and partially because pursuing the field I really want is unrealistic, especially in this educational climate. As funds for higher education are being slashed left and right, as kids barely even have the tools they need to learn and compete in the world, my hope for returning to school while working is starting to fade. Classes at community colleges are being cut, which means the prerequisites I would need are few and far between, and student loans are at an all time high. It's not easy to be in school right now, and it's hard to imagine being in school while having a full time job on top of it- I couldn't even do that as a literature major in undergrad. Another thing I've (almost) always  known I wanted is to have someone I could build the kind of life one would build with a life partner (is it weird that "life partner" sounds less awkward than "husband?"), and as I get older I realize more that it's important to me. My sister recently moved in with her long term boyfriend and they got a puppy together, and while I'm exceedingly happy and excited for them both I can't help but hope I have a similar future. The up side is that for the first time in my life I'm with someone who doesn't come with a "but we'll have to break up eventually" addendum. Like the How I Met Your Mother episode, everyone seems to have a "but;" for the longest time that was "but he wants kids," and it's exciting to date without that on the table. But (ha, see?) it's also terrifying to feel strongly about someone else when I know what I want in my life. 

Hopefully the insecurities will fade quickly... taking care of my taxes this weekend will at least get that off my shoulders and if all goes well money won't be as big of an issue (at least I'll be saving for fun things). At the very least my race will be over in 5 weeks and after that I'll be able to look at running and going to the gym in a fun way because I'll want to do it, not because I have to. And, above all else, hopefully a better work opportunity will come my way soon.

Moving To Canada

If I ever become Canadian I'm getting this tattoo. I think I've said this before...

Canada is looking better and better the more I learn. Two news stories between yesterday and today made me absolutely disgusted with America.

The first was a story about the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) decision to not alter wording in a regulation that prohibits the broadcast of false or misleading information. Canada actually has a rule that says you can't fucking lie on TV or radio. Apparently this whole thing is being called into question because back in 1992 (yeah, almost 20 years ago) some guy said the Holocaust never happened and argued that his right to freedom of expression meant he couldn't be charged for disseminating false information. Now they want to change the wording so it only applies to broadcasters who know the information is false or misleading and when "reporting it was likely to endanger the lives, health or safety of the public." But that's not journalism; anyone who uses his or her position in the broadcasting industry to deliberately report false or misleading information, especially when it could cause damage to lives or industry, should at the very least lose his or her job and possibly even be jailed, depending on how severe of a lie it is. It is the responsibility of journalists, in radio, print and TV, to double check the accuracy of the statements and stories they report and be confident enough to stand behind their research. This new wording would allow someone to report misleading or inaccurate information and hide behind the "I didn't know it wasn't true" loophole. If journalists aren't doing their jobs where does that leave us?

Enter Fox News.

Widely touted as the "only fair news source" by right-wing crazies who insist our president is an African-born Muslim (also the Antichrist... are they still on that?), Fox News has been caught red handed in a number of lies, the most recent one in which the president, Roger Ailes, convinced a number of employees to lie to Federal investigators about an affair that would have embarrassed Ailes buddy Rudy Giuliani in his presidential bid. Fair and balanced? Oops.

Canada calls Sun TV News "Fox News North" for it's "fair and balanced" agenda, and it's easy to see the connection with a tag line like "Hard news and straight talk." Sun TV has been trying to get into Canada, and this new rewording of the regulations would allow them to hide behind the law in their attempts at creating chaos. Here in America we have 2 parties who will do anything to embarrass the other, creating a near-impossible situation for genuinely fair reporting. Luckily, the people of Canada have spoken up against this rewording; they don't need or want lies over their airways.

The second story making me want to move to Canada is one from the good ol' US of A. Turns out 4 years ago House Democrats started a Green the Capitol movement to start environmentally friendly habits. According to their website they've saved nearly 1,500 trees in 2009 just by sending electronic faxes, 46 million gallons of water each year from using low-flow toilets, and 240,000 meals every month served with compostable utensils. Now that the Republicans are in control they're saying "the new majority, plastic ware is back." The good news is not all of the green measures are getting cut, but many are. Compostable utensils are out because they're not strong enough (which I don't get because I used compostable utensils all the time at the Park and they were great), but LED lights get to stay. The bottom line is many environmentally friendly habits end up saving money while also reducing our carbon footprint. Cutting them because they have an up-front cost and opting for initially cheaper (but with higher long-term costs) isn't saving anyone any money. I can't help but feel like taking away green initiatives are more about the Republicans asserting their authority and pissing off the Democrats simply because they can, neener neener neener.

It's so hard to read or hear any piece of news without being skeptical. I find myself asking who's behind the story, what angle are they working and who benefits from this information. It's not about informing the public, no matter which side is doing the talking. It's about being better than the other side. And it's getting embarrassing.

On the other hand, Canada does have one blemish I'm really disappointed about: metered Internet. WTF CANADA? Since when is this an option? We have unlimited calling and texting but now you're trying to take away unlimited Internet? This means people will not have access to basic websites if they can't afford the flash that website decides to put up. Of all the things there is now to fight for, if the US decides to follow in our northern neighbor's footsteps I will protest that to the end. I can't imagine our president, who uses fucking YouTube to broadcast his weekly address to the public, would support limiting who can visit certain websites, but I didn't even know this could ever be an issue. (Though to be fair, I also didn't know we had to have laws that say you can't broadcast a lie, so now I just don't know what to think.)

I never thought, in this day and age, in this country, that we'd be dealing with some of the issues we're dealing with. They just seem so... duh.

Guns On A Plane

The concessions we make, as Americans, when going through our airports has gotten a little ridiculous. I was fine taking off my jacket. I was fine even taking off my shoes. But I'm not fine taking off my underwear, or letting TSA agents see my naked body through an x-ray scanner. Many, many people, however, don't feel the same way, and will put up with all the infringements on our rights the TSA forces upon us because it's the quickest way through security and dammit we want to fly. Many people even feel safer exposing their bodies in the scanners because they believe if a terrorist were to try passing through the security measures the TSA would catch them.

Here's why that last part isn't true:

This article tells of an Iranian-American man carrying a loaded pistol through an x-ray and onto a plane. This article shows how the metal detector and TSA pat down aren't enough to keep bombs from planes. This article tells how airports catch testers when they're tipped off about a covert test. What this all boils down to is 20 security failures out of 22 tests in Newark, 50 failures out of 70 tests in Los Angeles and 45 failures out of 75 attempts in Chicago. That means that if each of those failures were a terrorist wanting to blow up a plane there would be hundreds dead. That means our security measures just aren't cutting it.

So, if security isn't doing much in the way of protecting Americans while flying, why should I submit to the ineffective and degrading procedures? I can't bring my face lotion on a plane. I have to buy special toothpaste in small packages before I fly. I have to choose between having a stranger see me naked or another stranger touch private and sensitive parts of my body in order to fly. Some Americans say that's what it costs to be free. But I sure as hell don't feel free.

But here's something that makes me have hope: Ron Paul introduced the American Traveler Dignity Act. In it, he suggests that Americans need not give up our rights or our dignity in order to fly. The act intends that:

"airport security screeners are not immune from any US law regarding physical contact with another person, making images of another person, or causing physical harm through the use of radiation-emitting machinery on another person. It means they are subject to the same laws as the rest of us."

Paul further suggests we allow the airlines themselves the opportunity to provide their own security. After all, they have arguably a bigger investment in keeping Americans alive and safe on their planes because if they were slacking they would lose business, while the government can say, "oops, sorry" and not really lose anything but a moment of silence if we have another terrorist attack. Bottom line is Americans shouldn't have to give up their rights for the right to travel by airplane.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

And boy can we be stupid sometimes.

A certain pastor by the name of Terry Jones is epically stupid. He's decided that he's going to burn multiple copies of the Koran, the Islamic holy book, on September 11th. Dammit, man, shit like this is what gives Americans a bad name.

Let's count the contradictory statements made my Mr. Jones:

1. Mr. Jones says he's going to burn the Koran because "it's full of lies," and later in the same article says he has "no experience with [the Koran] whatsoever. I only know what the Bible says." No where in the Bible does it say the Koran is full of lies, and I challenge him or anyone else to prove me wrong.

2. Mr. Jones "said he sincerely hoped" the burning would not lead to violence. Yet he's receiving death threats and carries a .40-caliber pistol on his hip, saying, "we have to be careful." What the fuck is he going to do with the gun? A Christian pastor preaching peace does not burn the sacred book of another religion or carry a gun because he fears he may need protection. He receives three times as many negative e-mails as he does positive ones, and church groups and organizations the country and world over are calling for this ridiculousness to stop.

3. Mr. Jones does not think his demonstration will put American troops at risk. But because he's now made his intentions clear to the entire world he can't really be surprised when some very offended Islamic radicals decide to attack the greatest symbol of America they can find: our troops. Our troops are over there trying to defend this idiot's freedom to be an idiot, even though this idiot is putting their very lives at risk. Not to mention, normal Muslims are disgusted at this man's outright ignorance and hate and feel the need to defend their beliefs.

4. Mr. Jones claims in one interview that he isn't spreading hate because he's spreading truth. Gen. David Petraeus, the top US commander in Afghanistan, says, "[this] is precisely the kind of action the Taliban uses and could cause significant problems. Not just here, but everywhere in the world we are engaged with the Islamic community." See that, Mr. Jones? You're the one terrorizing now.

5. Mr. Jones as been denied a permit for the demonstration and the burning by the fire department (citation #1, citation #2) but plans on going ahead anyway, saying "it's just politics." Also, he expects "quite a scene." But in this interview he claims the fire and police departments not only have no problem with what he's planning on doing, but will defend his demonstration.

I could point out a few inconsistencies with the Bible, I could point out America is not a Christian nation, I could point out this idiot is doing the exact opposite of what the Bible actually calls on Christians to do. But it wouldn't get anywhere. Part of me wants to say he's a senile old man looking for some recognition and found a really dumb, obvious way to get his name in the papers, but most of me knows he really does believe this, really does believe God is so proud of him, and really does think that burning the hold book of an entire religion will get them thinking, "hey, maybe Christianity really is the way to go. Huh, good thing Mr. Jones helped me see the light."

Part of me hopes God will be judging everyone when we die because if it's the God I know/knew/wanted to believe in He would be standing there laughing at people like Mr. Jones when they come to the gates of Heaven saying, "but... but... but... I did it all in your name!" And God and the angels would have a hearty laugh, wipe away some tears, and tell the poor soul, "um, no, I did not ask you to persecute whole peoples, but to quietly evangelize by being a good example. You failed. Off to Hell now, bye bye."

But most of me kind of knows that isn't what's going to happen when we die. And in that case, Mr. Jones needs to kick it now.

The dignity of Facebook is pretty much out the door.

Here is a note of feedback I submitted to Facebook today:

*EDIT: All of our complaints made a difference! More than 2 million users petitioned Facebook to cut it with the ridiculous changes (though that's only 1% of all users, it's still the most feedback they've ever gotten) and they're listening. Thanks for the link, Dan!

Seriously, it's terrible. The fact that you can control status updates of friends who post "sleeping, then going to work, then eating..." is useful because no one cares to know those things. This is not Twitter and anyone who feels the need to update the world on their minute daily experiences by the hour can just go to Twitter. That's what it's there for, that's why I do not have a Twitter account. I switched to Facebook from MySpace because Facebook, back then, was for college students. Then you decided to let professionals in, which was cool because we could benefit from that. Then you decided to let the whole world in and that was OK at first because the layout and style were still cultured. But then your ads started targeting me as someone who obviously needs to lose weight, get married, and get pregnant (not necessarily in that order)* and you started "updating Facebook to follow whatever silly fad was happening at the time. The dignity of Facebook is pretty much out the door. Something was created that was original and a great idea. It catered to the fewer, and those fewer were happy. But then it started getting all concerned with popularity and things went down the toilet and now, since it's so entertaining to know the hourly details of everyone's lives, Facebook has pretty much become Twitter with more elaborate profiles. Get a backbone and decide what "Facebook" wants to be and stick to it. You'll piss off more people trying to stick with whatever popular fad is out there and changing shit up all the time than you will by maintaining one personality.

Since you say you listen to feedback (do you really read every letter? I think this one deserves a response) and change Facebook solely based on the input of your users, I can only assume the rest of the world is telling you to change all the time to be more like MySpace and Twitter. But seeing as how the majority of the top "Help" searches are about how to go back to the old Facebook I'm guessing not. And if so, then it only makes sense that I leave, because this is not what I signed up for. 

Oh, and by the way, there HAS to be a way to get rid of the "Highlights" section on the home page. Really? Those are highlights? People I don't see anymore, don't really care to see anymore but can't "un-friend" because they still live with my sister get drunk and sing karaoke and those videos are what I see EVERY single time I'm on Facebook? I can't remove them? The sound on my computer is busted, so I can't watch them even if I wanted to. But no, these are apparently the "highlights" of my "friends" lives so I'm forced to be reminded of their antics and how they felt the need to post Karaoke and Soju parts 1-5. Really? I wasn't there, I wasn't invited, I wouldn't have gone anyway because I really don't like Karaoke and really don't like the drama that follows these people everywhere they go, and I must be reminded that my drunk former roommates like karaoke. I'm just sick of it all. This is nowhere near the Facebook I signed up for, the Facebook millions of us signed up for, and at least some of us want out, i we're not going to be heard. We do not approve, Facebook mods. The new home page sucks ass. 

Thank you kindly.

*About those ads: whatever happened to the Victoria's Secret and study abroad ads? Why must my entire life be about losing weight, getting married and having babies? Did that petition that was circulating around a while back to get rid of the "lustful" VS ads really make you guys take it down? I love VS! I do not love babies. And I do not have the need for a wedding photographer. I want my sexy underwear back, dammit.