May 17, 2009

Bumper Stickers

Let it be known I hate bumper stickers. It's the most pretentious way to let me know what your opinions and beliefs are and try to convert me while I'm stuck behind your ass in traffic. Today I saw a car with 3 bumper stickers about abortion. The most annoying was the image above. Allow me to point out its flaws:
  1. Mary was a virgin. Virgins don't generally get pregnant spontaneously.
  2. Mary didn't even know she was pregnant until the angel came and told her. Remember, this was pre 95% accurate pregnancy tests.
  3. The angel told Mary she was carrying God's child. If an angel told you, as a virgin, that you were carrying God-made-manifest wouldn't you listen?
  4. The angel also visited her fiancee, Joseph, and told him to man up even though it wasn't his kid. Joseph was a good dude and listened to the angel and raised Jesus until he was at least 12 years old.
  5. The bumper sticker implies that being pro choice means you automatically have abortions. Pro choice only means you are for the concept of women having the legal ability to choose to terminate a pregnancy or carry it to term. I could never have an elective abortion, but I think all women should be able to make that decision for themselves. I'm also a stable person and not everyone is.
  6. The bumper sticker also implies that the holiday of Christmas would be the only thing missing if Mary aborted Jesus. I assume the woman who drove the car believes that all children and embryos and sperm are gifts from God and should be cherished, but the bumper sticker she so proudly displays insinuates all she'd miss is a day off work.
  7. Since Christmas is no longer the sacred remembrance of our Savior's birth, but more like a commercialized way to show how much others mean to you by placing a price tag on an annual gift, maybe it wouldn't be such a terrible thing to not have a Christmas. Mind you, I love the Christmas season where people are generally in a better mood (save for family squabbles), even if only because of anticipation of presents (I hope I get a pony!), but it's gotten so out of hand. 
  8. Easter is supposed to be the more sacred and important Christian holiday because Jesus dying for our sins and rising from the dead is what Christianity is all about (correct me if I'm wrong). Christmas is like Hanukkah: just not as important as Passover. So whoopdeedoo.


  1. Plus, Christmas is a borrowed holiday, and doesn't come from Christianity anyway. It's the Solstice drunken party time.

  2. Christmas and Easter were both pagan holidays incorporated into Christianity so new followers could be more adjusted to the new religion. Religious leaders at the time figured they would still celebrate those festivals anyways, so why not make it seem like something that was related to Christianity. I'd say, without Christianity we may very well have an even better type of Christmas - I heard those pagan parties were some CrAzY times!

    I don't mind bumper stickers if they are funny. But when they are just plain stupid, I can't stand them.

  3. I hemmed and hawed over adding a ninth reason that bumper sticker irritated me, that reason being Christmas (and Easter) was originally a pagan holiday, but decided against it. To be honest, I was on my way to a friend's house for dinner and decided I should probably make myself somewhat presentable.

    But I decided against including that reason also because I knew it would open up a whole new can of worms; it did and I didn't even write it! At least now I know how to incite a flame war...

    Anonymous: the Jews have a crazy time too, especially the way Adam Sandler tells it.

  4. No Christmas? Walmart would collapse, China would implode .. oh, the humanity!

  5. I saw this bummer sticker.... for the first time ... today... to my surprise... here is the bumper sticker and some interesting thoughts from an intelligent woman... Thank you, Lindsay... To simplify a little tho... Pro-choice means Free-will... I think / believe Mary was indeed a virgin but most scholars believe Jesus had brothers too. So Mary and Joseph decided to have more childen.... regarding the holy-daze of Christmas... there's a line in a Sade song.."Every day is Christmas, and every nite is New Year's Eve."

  6. I realize that I'm late to this party but only recently saw this crazy bumper sticker. I found it offensive as a Christian and a woman and a liberal!
    First off I agree with all of your previous statements. But there are even more serious ones.

    How dare a "Christian" imply that the Holy Mother of God would ever abort her baby whether she was for or against others making that choice!

    Historically woman may have practiced some type of self induced abortion, whether taking herbal supplements or seeing a midwife in secret. I'm not an historian or anthropologist but have read that it's happened across cultures since the beginning of time.

    The Virgin Mary actually did make a choice. When the angel came to inform her of God's plan it hadn't happened yet. She questioned it, the how and why. Then she accepted.

    So the bumper sticker is wrong and offensive on many different levels.