This is genius. I should have been a boy, just so I could try this.
The Viagra TSA Experiment. Please click that link and watch the video (or read the transcript); it will be worth 5 minutes of your time. Just like it sounds, a man, named John, takes a hefty dose of Viagra (and I mean hefty...) an hour before arriving at the airport. Naturally, he refuses the body scanner, whips out his camera and records the ensuing and highly awkward male-on-male pat down.
If you've never had one of their pat downs this may not seem all that funny. But I've had a pat down*, and those guys have to be eye-level with your junk, so I imagine having a raging erection (while being fondled by a government agent in a room with hundreds of other people) being an interesting part of the day, to say the least.
What's better, the TSA agent was made aware that he was going to be touching a man who'd taken Viagra, and you know that was the only thing on his mind, probably especially as he was eye-level with it. John tried to joke around while being man-handled, and the agent went along with it for a while. Though you can't see in the video what the agent was doing when he decided to stop playing along, my guess is it was right at the point he had to actually look the erection in the eye. The procedure begins with arms and shoulders, moves to the chest and legs, and the end is the genital region. Maybe it's just hard (haha!) to find the humor in that situation when your job requires you to be on your knees in front of another man, touching parts you'd never otherwise touch, while the man has a raging boner. TSA agents are not paid nearly enough.
The last paragraph (for those of you not clicking on the link... shame) I'm going to share here because it's word for word exactly how I feel:
Our freedoms are being stripped from us (literally) with every body scan we submit to, but it's not the TSA agent's fault, of course. It's our fault. It's our fault for being so scared that we allow the government to take away our privacy, in order to gain the illusion of greater security. My stance is simple: I would rather have less security, and more freedom.
Thanks, John. I wish I had a penis so I could do this the next time I fly.
Also, looks like I'm not even safe in Canada. The US government is making Canada go through the same bullshit body scanners for all flights into the US. I remember reading that one of the TSA board members is the one behind all the scanners– he's making a shit load of money off our stupid fears.
*I opted out of the body scanner last October and had to submit to a pat down. Though the woman who inspected me was professional, at least to the point of not actually touching my sexy bits and using the back of her hand when she was near my boobs and butt, she was in a foul mood. I found that funny.