Disintegration

For as much as I claim to hate emo music "emo" is short for "emotional" and my most favorite music is highly emotional. I also just realized I have some pretty fantastic break-up music.

It's been a little over two months since "The Break-Up" and things have been pretty good. I initially buried myself so far into my work that what little free time I had I spent sleeping or giving attention to Chloe or friends I hadn't seen in weeks that I really didn't notice much. When my job ended I focused on new friends, doing new activities, sleeping and cooking. But the truth is "The Break-Up" was coming for quite a while, all year in fact, so it didn't come as a big shock.

I was a bit apprehensive about writing post break-up about things having to do with The Ex because I didn't want to call him "The Ex." This was partially because The Ex read this somewhat regularly, but I shouldn't feel restricted, especially by someone I'm no longer dating.

Going back to the title of this post and my first paragraph: I don't usually listen to music all that often but lately I've acquired some damn fine albums of incredible thought and passion. Pardon the emo stereotype, but I feel so alive when I'm in pain. There's something to really feeling that makes you alive. And that's what I love about emotional music: I can feel it. Stay on My Side Tonight is Jimmy Eat World's most emo EP, but I love "Disintegration." I love running to powerful emotional music, tiring my body out to the music as my mind races to the words. It's fantastic.

So I'm doing very well with this whole break-up ordeal. Could have done without finding out an old friend is engaged the same day The Ex decided to never speak again, but hey, you can't always get what you want.

Speaking of which, I want to be not just stable in my job but excelling in the job I miss, to continue to have harmony between home and work, for my home to have a dog and a horse and maybe even a man who shares my values and beliefs. Maybe someday I'll get what I want, but right now it's time to enjoy being 24, confident and single.