Kill All Humans

Bender really does have it right. Humans are the most destructive force on the planet. And some are just downright stupid.

Take Elle Macpherson. Actress, model, designer, producer. Speaks 4 languages, lives in the UK, 2 kids, fucking rich. And she eats rhinoceros horn.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! What the fuck is an quasi-educated white woman doing buying BLACK MARKET ENDANGERED ANIMAL KERATIN? Thanks to you, Elle, rhinos are still endangered. They're still being killed for compressed hair. That's right, hair. Save the stray hairs from your brush until you've got a nice handful, then grate them on your salad. Or use your fingernail clippings. I'm sure for a lot less than $100 grand you can go to a nail salon and ask them to save their clippings for you.

What is it she thinks she gets out of rhino horn that she's willing to pay out the ass for it? She's nearing 50... maybe rhino horn is the fountain of youth? What gets me even more is she's the producer for Britain's Next Top Model, which means all those aspiring young models, who might look up to her, might see that she takes rhino horn and might want to take it, too. Seriously guys, not only is it ridiculously silly, it's illegal. She should have some sort of repercussion for admitting it (and then lying about it: "Oh, it's bad? I mean, I didn't know it was rhino horn, I just thought I was paying thousands for a vial of Chinese herb powder that helps me... um, I dunno, be pretty.") Fucking dumb. She should die like this poor girl:

See that, Elle? She had a 9 month old baby. And you killed her.

That rhino was the last female in Krugersdorp Park in South Africa. Her baby watched the killing and was then moved to an area with other rhino orphans. There are at best 18,000 rhinos in all of Africa right now. Most of them are Southern White rhinos, like 4 are Northern White, and a few thousand are Black rhinos. Rhinos are most protected on reserves, but guess what? This picture was taken on a reserve. Not very protected. This pisses me off so fucking much. It's 100% pointless. I can almost understand ignorant families relying on ancient remedies because they have no other option. But Elle Macpherson has no excuse and this makes her a horrible person.

I have to give a shout out of thanks to Us Weekly. It was in their magazine I learned of Elle Macpherson and her horrific actions. I have a newfound respect for the gossip magazine and am glad they've exposed a model, knowing how many people read it. Thanks, Us Weekly.

*EDIT: Here's another source.